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Coveted...

Coveted...

touch not
this daunting facade
of polished steel
it is obscurely
out of the way
not on your path
make no detours
to investigate
this remote structure
you are not to know
the secrets
and mysteries
under the veil
of distant demeanor
she is an ice mass
of unbearable cold
exuding arctic winter...
and one indifferent kiss
would dissolve her
into a catastrophic meltdown

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 

Comments

fall...wind in the eaves...clouds outside windows
we were read the fairytales as Children...
leatherette bound books...Encyclodpedia of
Knowledge series..came with the set above
parents bought them for my sister born fifty
four? anyway..out of the states..they had poems
and lavish spooky well drawn illustrations turn
of century..paintings...They were very well done
for the pop culture of young parents at the time..

In those books were set stories such as this
Poems such as this...musings beyond the
television banquet buffet of mind fodder..
to this day i remember the plates the color
the stories...
there was always ambition and betrayal
Loyalities and messages to delve
decipher and decide....or not..

Years later I found Gustav Klimpts work
and Wyeth..along with the more radical
and in Psychiatric stays at the old hospital
north (since demolished) Harlequin Books
and historical fantasy written by women!

there is the male perspective of adventure
and then the female....both have intriguing
plot themes and characters

The key to unlock and melt...like a code
the romantic notion of That Kiss
captured well here

goes with the evening
with its wind and shadows
a chill...

Thank U Cat!
(oh my poem..the narrative rescue..
was inspired by your work..Thank U!)

you astound me with your level of understanding and your insight with my work! I am in awe and so pleased to have inspired you! thank you for telling me and for reading this poem. you are spot on!!!

*hugs Cat
**ever, eddy

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

you astound me with your level of understanding and your insight with my work! I am in awe and so pleased to have inspired you! thank you for telling me and for reading this poem. you are spot on!!!

*hugs Cat
**ever, eddy

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

This has a romantic tone to it but sadly, cannot lead to a what could be a muchly desired relationship. Comparing this woman to an 'ice mass...' brings the image of a glacier and those take centuries to melt. She appears to be strong, nothing can break her. She has a sense of mystery about her though which is used to hide who she 'really' is as well as other secrets kept deep within. And when I think of this woman, it makes me sad that she'll never know how desired she is by whoever is being told 'touch not.' The only thing that could destroy her is someone who pretends to want her, 'one indifferent kiss...' that may in fact turn out to be not so indifferent but she'll never have the chance to find out. I like how this reads from beginning to end. The title helped to draw me in and your choice of words fits the theme nicely. Even the way it's structured adds to the read.
Long story short, well done.
(my hope is this all makes some sort of sense to you!)

val

you make perfect sense! thank you for your insights into this very sad poem...I deeply appreciate the time you took to respond to this. and I like the way your logical mind works!

always, Cat
*ever, eddy

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

In reviewing someone's work I want them to know I paid attention to what I was reading. Even if my take is not quite on point, at least they know I put in the effort to share my thoughts. I'm glad I came through and thanks for letting me know!

you are very welcome!!! :)

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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