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Could Have, Would Have, Should Have

I could have done better
But a shattered soul
Screams as it dies
While the mind cries

I would have changed everything
But time, my holding cell
Moved forward without a care
Leaving your memories in the air

I should have listened
When you said sorry
But turned my back
No more broken heart attacks

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Could Have, Would Have, Should Have" explores the common regret we feel when we realize we missed an opportunity to do something differently. The speaker laments the past, acknowledging that they could have done better, but their shattered soul and crying mind held them back. This line effectively conveys the emotional turmoil that often accompanies regret.

The second stanza continues the theme of missed opportunities, as the speaker expresses their desire to change everything, but time has already moved on, leaving memories behind. This stanza is a strong reflection on the fleeting nature of time and the importance of seizing the moment.

The final stanza adds a layer of complexity to the poem, as the speaker acknowledges that they should have listened when someone apologized to them but turned their back instead. This line can be interpreted in different ways, but it adds depth to the poem, suggesting that sometimes we let our own hurt and pride get in the way of healing and moving forward.

Overall, "Could Have, Would Have, Should Have" is a concise and effective exploration of the theme of regret. The imagery is strong, and the structure of the poem effectively builds on the theme.

One possible line edit could be to change "no more broken heart attacks" to "no more heartbreaks to stack," which maintains the same meaning but adds a bit more poetic flair to the line.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Love the rhythm, the format, soft rhyme. Definitely reads like a spoken word and I guess it’s loose enough to be called free verse because of how it sounds to me but it could also be considered loosely structured.

I like how each stanza tackles one of the three verbs. The ending is great because it affirms the unwillingness to continue the regret and move on to better things.

Tim

Definitely a spoken word vibe with this one. A good challenge requiring self reflection. Thank you for your comment as always.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I can feel the regret for not doing things differently, but there is also a strong component that says, "I can't change it, and, maybe, the end result is the best I could do." It is about moving on and saving yourself, which has to happen before anyone can save anyone else, Nicely done.

Thanx,
Steve

I realized I had to save myself before I could save anyone else..I did the best I could at the time and even though I wish I had done things differently, I can't change that part of it. I can only move forward. Sometimes we get second chances. Thank you for your feedback as always

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I like the way you have tackled this challenge. it reminds me of the cruel realities of love. sometimes there are thing that have been done or said that a person just cannot come back from... when it is over it is over. I can relate!

*hugs and deep thoughts, eddy & Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Sometimes we have done all we can and it is still over...then sometimes we get another chance if we want it...thank you for your read and comment.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

dear Carrie
I really like how you've tackled this challanging challenge..I see the author has learned a good lesson and told the reader about this experience.
It's never easy to say it so gently.
As a suggestion, I thought the last line could read better if you drop the word"broken"
No more [broken] heart attacks
Or
No more broken hearts [attacks]
but as you might prefer keep the ending rhyme I thought the first option works better.
Again , good work !
Best wishes on the contest.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

As always, I value your insight and comment. I am glad you enjoyed the poem! Thank you again.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

anything more, just differently about this piece.
I would rather just congratulate you on a very clear
and concise piece of work.

I understand the need for the [broken] heart attacks. Keep it!
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I am glad you see the importance in the last line. As always, thank you for the feedback. Glad you liked this

~RoseBlack~

author comment
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