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Contest: Something you Long For : My Secret "Something"

My Secret "Something"
24 out of 20 to 24 lines

I've had my days
of uplifting honor
and the unspoken
joys coming with it,
my heart and soul
did learn to sing
blessed thoughts
and songs be writ.

but... in my ever so
hopeful heart
there lies this thing
I'm wishing for
a most desirous
secret all my own
perhaps I have not
opened the right door.

I've been searching
both low and high
within the annals
of my stubborn mind,
I've picked through
memories, old and new
but no footprint
of it can I find.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I gotta come back in a few and read it again. Got the old hooks in my noggin.

Be back
Tim

about looking
for a thing that may not ever be found.
A thing that you may not acknowledge
even if you do find it! Damn! I know that feeling.
This certainly has a mystery about it, it reeks of adventure.
I can see that you have thought about it and just
can't decide what it is that you want, because you have
been searching high and low
within the confines of your mind
Picking through memories old and new
But no footprints to follow, no trails to discern.
Nice work! Nothing I would change. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

it is good to learn that I am not the only one to have this feeling. thank you for letting me know that I am not alone in this! i really appreciate it and you.

*hugs, Cat

*
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author comment

searching
both high and low
perhaps may make it slightly different
may see
Cats

dear lovedly!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

thank you so very much,

*love & hugs, Cats

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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author comment

Hello, Cat,
I can only tell you how this poem speaks to me, my apologies if it is way off the mark for your intent. For me, as a poet, it's longing and searching for that "just right" poem, verse, or story. The one held in the deepest part of your being, waiting for you to listen to it and help shape it, help bring it to life. You know it's there, just longing to take a breath.
Thank you!
L

you understand completely!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

For that one thing...the thing we may not really know what it is or may never find. I relate to this well. Beautifully done.

~RoseBlack~

I think it may have something to do with sleep and dreaming (?) I came upon this feeling/thought through meditation. when the pain gets almost to the breaking point, and I feel dreaded tears welling, I meditate. I also meditate when I feel a migraine coming on. thank you for your response :)
*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

So yeah there’s this fleeting moment right when you wake from a dream where it’s still vivid but it’s rapidly vaporizing and your struggling to hold on to the dream. It’s actually the subject of the song “Sleep” by Phish.

I can't describe the feeling when
I'm in my bed asleep and then
I wake up with a vision blurred
And all my efforts are deterred
To reconstruct this image lost
There're certain things my mind must do
And even though they're very few
The image glistens like a gem
Repairing is not one of them
So I'm awake though in my mind
The image that's so unrefined
Is calling to me from the deep
And tempting me to fall asleep

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M89xCo9lKQw

Tom Marshall has a very unique way of seeing the world and he has a talent for putting things just slightly out of reach. This particular one is a bit more straightforward lyrically but the theme is about grasping or longing for understanding or hiraeth.

I said I’d be back and I’m very, very glad I did. This was the first poem I read when I woke from my dreams.

Tim

thanks, Tim, I'll check it out. I appreciate that you took the time to help me and share information and talent.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Lovely piece elegantly written and presented leaving me unsure if the searched for item is known to you or if you are beset with that feeling of something missing that you will only recognise when you find it , I like that intriguing aspect of it very much I enjoyed reading this piece

I don't know why, but I have the urge to refer to you as Em1. I shall keep myself from taking that liberty until being invited to do so.

thank you for not only reading and responding, but for digging down deep. I really do appreciate your efforts for understanding. thank you.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Cat , you are welcome , of course call me Em 1 , Im actually sorry I used that name back in Jan when I joined I should have stuck to Ruby but I dont seem to be able to edit it now , so Em1 is perfect ,
Have a good day
Cheers
Em1

for your permission :) have you tried asking Mark about how to make the change? he might be able to send you in the right direction. hope that helps.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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