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CONSTELLATION

Submitted by Twizzle48 on Sun, 2022-08-14 05:54

CONSTELLATION

The sky at night cleverly crafted
As if a very fine spray of acid
Had burned through black silk
Leaving a million tiny pinpricks
Through every one of which
An eerie bright light shines

This is the night sky we see
As it appears to us all now
At least for those who gaze
Countless scattered twinkling stars
Offering a mere glimpse or hint
Of what lies behind that veil

Each with its own special secret
To share with any that may ask
Yet few will ever get to know
But still celebrate the mystery
Until the day when one by one
The stars will finally all go out

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Contest: 
Neopoem Of The Week contest August 14 to August 20 2022
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Sun, 2022-08-14 10:16

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like the analogy of a sheet of black silk with holes burnt through it, to describe the stars. It makes it sound like a teaching tool of some kind, to illustrate a story told by a shaman or elder of a tribe of indigenous people. The story is well told, as though it has been repeated many times. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
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RoseBlack

Mon, 2022-08-15 18:14

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The entire first stanza caught my interest. I agree with Geezer, it sounds as though it was a tale told by many generations and passed down to the next. Good use of imagery and language. The flow also seemed to fit the beat of the poem. Good job.

~RoseBlack~

Jackweb

Sat, 2022-08-20 03:50

Jackweb's picture

A good poem creates a moment of images with something profound lying beneath. The execution to make this work depends on many types of literary devices, including attributes of syllables, mastery of diction, metaphor etc

Excellent!
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"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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