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Come to me

Come to me and take a chance,
Throw caution in the wind.
Test your luck, don’t hesitate,
She who dares can only win.

Jump off a cliff so high and steep,
Come, choose risk to take.
Dive into a sea so deep,
You won’t melt, you’re no snowflake.

Come, forget all fear and doubt,
I’ll show you what it’s all about,
A new world of sensation.

Put on the parachute and leap,
Pray the lord your soul to keep,
Press pause on hesitation.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

one thing out of the way: I see a typo in the third line-second stanza. " Dive into a se[a] so deep. I especially like the last stanza.
"Put on the parachute and leap
.Pray the Lord your soul to keep
.Press pause on hesitation"

A really nice turn of phrase and play on words. ~ Geezer.
.

Thanks for pointing out the typo. I have reread the poem numerous times and repeatedly failed to notice it.
Again, thanks for the encouragement.

Cheers
Jack

author comment

I too am taken with the last stanza. very deep!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank you for more kind words.
Honestly this bit was almost completely changed as it somehow did not sound just right to me. Now I am glad I stopped looking for alternatives :-)

Jack

author comment

I have written for over 30 years, the times I've re-read & re-written a stanza only to be told later when receiving a critique that it now doesn't work happens too often.

Glad you didn't fall into my trap & change anything too much. It reads awesomely & I have learnt to wait for other poets comments before embarking on a major change. Nine times out of ten the original words were fine, just a tweak occasionally.

Enjoyed the poem.

regards

One.

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

Thank you very much for the support. I am happy that you enjoyed it.

Regards,
Jack

author comment

I can figure out a master or instructor in the poem giving helpful guide lines to take risk in life.

I liked the poem. Very instructive!

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

This was intended as an invitation to love, but I very much like your take on it.
Thanks!

Cheers,
Jack

author comment

dear Jack,

I extend my hand to you in wishing you many more poems like this one (I know you have them in you, just waiting to surface) and offering my congratulations!

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I cannot thank you enough for your support since my first poem here. I will try not to dissapoint you with any of my future work.

Hugs,
Jack

author comment

for your win! ~ Geezer.
.

This really took me by surprise :-)

Thank you very much for your constant support.

Cheers,
Jack

author comment

More wins ahead.

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

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