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A Collection of Sorrows, Part Two.

Hear me, hear me, cry, I swear to god I can see
All of the things that I have done wrong
I wish I could repent and that you could fix me
I would sing such glory repeated in songs

The things I know I can never forget
The heart I held but could never get
The strings of hearts and the marionettes that pull
The fire that claimed my beating heart
The strangers that walked me home from jail

But I am afraid of what’s behind this wall
I am alone at the door and my hand is shaking
And I can’t be the one to be breaking your heart
I made a promise I have broken the only thing I care for
And one day I will make everything so beautiful
The only stage I set is the stage I die on
So why can’t I just be the air you breathe

I could sing, but I can’t, I could sing
And would you listen?
But no, it all can’t be true
Did I really do these awful things to you?

So go out back, and grab your gun
I don’t deserve to be the one
Take the shot or let me free
I promise to death I could be
The only thing you could ever dream
So take this form of an apology

Your love is locked inside a house
Guarded by the strongest mouse
And I don’t have the key
It broke in threes
And I swear I will tear these walls down
And start anew
And I will build a fortress
Around you

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Comments

I like this also, but again, particularly in the second and final stanzas, an edit seems in order to me, to remove repetative articles and conjunctions.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

This needs a constructive edit and let it be joined to part one.
I will wait for the new work, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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