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Coffee With My Ex

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Wed, 2022-02-09 10:34

"Why did it end that way?" she asked
when we spoke some years later

Two cups in we agreed
We couldn't find our way back
to who we wanted to be

It’s like our patched-up hearts
The bandages do come off
but they will never be the same

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Some notes on closure.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Ray Whitaker

Thu, 2022-02-10 12:40

Ray Whitaker's picture

'Course I do have an ex....

Taking two cups of coffee to arrive at an agreement that it's a good thing that they both are "ex's"... connotes to me that one of the pair might be wishing for different.

Good that these two are at least talking. Maybe. Could be just invoking the passion that once existed.

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Geezer

Fri, 2022-02-11 09:31

Geezer's picture
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with Ray, in the thought that one or maybe both of them might be wishing that things had been different. If that isn't the intent, I would change "who we used to be" to [what used to be]. I never asked either of my two exes, why? [I guess maybe the answer I got, wouldn't be what I wanted to hear] or maybe she would think that I was interested in a reconciliation. Your title is good, the rhythm and pattern very good and it seems logical and well done from beginning to end. ~ Geezer.
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