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Choices

Submitted by Rosewood Apothecary on Tue, 2022-10-18 04:43

I choose light
Though I’ll walk through darkness to attain it

I choose hope
For it carries the tired and wearisome heart

I choose love
Because all else is displaced energy

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Lavender

Wed, 2022-10-19 22:10

Lavender's picture
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Hi, Tim.
Wise words, great affirmations, but mostly - the best way to live a life of value and quality. In reading, I seem to naturally change the word "the" to "my" - "For it carries my tired and wearisome heart."
Strong finishing last line and thought.
Thank you!
L

Rosewood Apothecary

Thu, 2022-10-20 06:05

Rosewood Apothecary's picture
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About that little change you suggested. I want to say hope carries everyone’s hearts. Now maybe I don’t. Maybe “Hope carries a tired and wearisome heart.” Realistically for the purpose of verb tense you are correct I believe

Thanks for your continued support
Tim

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