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chasing forever

Submitted by Seren on Sat, 2015-06-13 15:04

Here at the end of all things
humbled in the gods sight,
morning creeps over Azimuth
eternities of black vanish

A Dreamweavers heart,
muniments a galaxy of memory

Looking back knowing,
glories of stars
are now bereft
of times eternal gaze

Wondering hands stretched,
defeated fingertips weep

Like a Mockingjay in the rain
mimicking storms of torture,
moans reverberate empty rooms
whispering lips weary of prayer

Stillness falls on the mouth of hope,
peace rests gently on the tongue

Stardust-ed eyes clear, pain
ripples the surface of stillness
echoing replies of mourning
repeated tributes of life

But surrender only waves once,
disillusionment killed the breeze

Yet, Hands laying shrouds still,
moving toward a vapid pulse,
feeling the flames of hope
vibrating deep veins wall

Regathering the skirts of life,
leaping destiny, I find release

And run free ...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

raj

Sat, 2015-06-13 17:04

Ah..what can I say Jayne? nothing but within me your words resonate and eyes moisten...stay brave dearest....weather this storm...

much love and warm hugs reach out to you...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Seren

Sun, 2015-06-14 15:59

Seren's picture

You don't have to say anything that your here is enough

Much love and big hugs Jayne xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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scribbler

Sat, 2015-06-13 23:00

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About to give a good review and my arm has gone numb........shall return

Seren

Sun, 2015-06-14 16:00

Seren's picture

I look forward to your return hope alls well with you and yours

Much love Jayne xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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lovedly

Sat, 2015-06-13 23:24

lovedly's picture

i could compose poetry like this
ur wonderful all know it .....

Seren

Sun, 2015-06-14 16:02

Seren's picture

You can you've proved you can, head down ass up is the only way ;-)

Love Jayne xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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Sparrow

Sun, 2015-06-14 04:38

Sparrow's picture
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Your imagination at the end times and the writing is excellent, but one thing "young" lady you have years of writing yet, and you will be read much more than you are today.
There are many roads that are stretching out before you just in the writing way, stories to be told, rhymes to kindle.
Now all you need to do is consolidate your train of thinking and write the things that many others will want to read, the children will watch over your pen.
There are stories we need from you about life and in both poetic ways and just simple stories.
These poems you put here are a fringe of your capability.
Can you put out a short story as a Blog for us to see how the pen works..
Take care little one there is a long road ahead and it is better than the one you have travelled.
Yours as always Ian & the Children xxx

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Seren

Sun, 2015-06-14 16:08

Seren's picture

None of us know our time unless of course its the state giving a death sentence, I've got many words left in me but its the body that fails me not the mind its getting the energy thats the problem,, I have four novels finished not ready to publish but I may share some of that here most of its semi autobiographical so yeah you may enjoy it lol who knows

Its 6 am I'm going to try and get a couple of hours before the insanity begins

All my love Jayne xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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scribbler

Sun, 2015-06-14 21:49

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Been taking a vocabulary course I see lol. The imagery here is stunning. And it has purpose as opposed to just being thrown in for the fun of it. And freedom can be perceived as either relief from pain or the release of leaving it behind. You stated as much a lot better than I. I found a few places where I'd have stated things differently but differently is not the same as better.........stan

Seren

Sat, 2015-06-20 14:04

Seren's picture

I've used muniment for years I have three or four poems where that words is used ... I've a few obscure words I use when they fit the theme well, there was a purpose and a kind of message in this one...its soothes my soul to release these words I've bottled up for months nearly years ... I am very happy you liked it chuffed would be the best word for it lol big smile

Love always Sis xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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alidzain

Tue, 2015-06-16 02:07

alidzain's picture

you see, everyone here are already echoing my sentiments each time I read your poems. Even I wished I could write like you but a man who doesn't know his limits is just an arrogant fool and that is not what I am. Take care. Keep on writing. Keep on inspiring.

I don't wish for the diamonds in the sky anymore,
I already have one here shining by my side.
She shared her essence in grand poetry
with vivid imagery coming alive in the stage of my mind

With every move she made,
she left behind the traces of glory
of a passion which burns
like the morning star

O weaver of tales,
I can only admire you from afar
for I am nothing compared to you,
still you blessed me with your presence
and for that I am ever grateful

Alid

Seren

Sat, 2015-06-20 14:09

Seren's picture

If I ever have a fan club I think you maybe one of my most dedicated readers and for that I am eternally grateful for your continued visits and the wonderful comments slash poems make my day ... I hope you enjoy the next one I'm about to post as much ... I just need to edit before I post but I am going to visit some friends here before I do that ... you being one of those big smiles and a huge hug of thanks again

Love and hugs my loyal friend Jayne xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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