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CHANGE
Two short decades burned away
since last I laid eyes on this place
but, finally, I'm back today
via a road once a mere trace.
From trail to road just the first change.
Posted signs displayed on all roadsides
where departed neighbors used to dwell.
No telling now who there on resides.
I hardly see a single well.
Are water systems one more change?
Large fields which once bore mixed row crops
now fenced and cut into horse farms
with cribbed boards running the fence tops
and cookie cutter barns devoid charms.
Crops to pastures one more change,
All the hardwoods that once stood
as far as younger eyes could see
are gone, replaced by dense pine woods
all in the quest for fast money.
Yet another for worse change.
All the world is not the same...
perhaps that's how it ought to be.
Even my mirror plays that game
by revealing time's effect on me
perhaps a mirror of life's change.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
* I just realized that most folks might not know what a cribbed board is : Horses especially those kept in stalls often, tend to bite and chew wood out of boredom. Once they start doing this their digestive system addicts them to this and they can almost eat up the top board of a wood fence
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Sat, 2017-05-13 23:14
Hi Audri
If born in earlier times we'd be complaining about the peaceful trail being turned into a dirt road and the cotton fields becoming general agriculture lol. The "good old days" have always existed I guess it just meant different things back then. Thanks for the time to read.........stan
author commentswamp-witch
Sat, 2017-05-13 15:21
Stan,
I am feeling this experience now that I've moved out of my parents' house and moved two hours away for grad school. Everything feels like it is changing too fast in my hometown when I come home. I guess it really isn't, but because I'm gone for long bouts, the changes seem to sprout up suddenly, but they've really progressed over the course of my absence.
It's still a difficult feeling when it seems like things are moving on and my little cousins are growing up while I'm stuck at school.
I found these lines particularly lovely with nostalgia: "as far as younger eyes could see" and "perhaps a mirror of life's change".
If I could mention one small thing, it would be the line "No telling now who, there, resides." I see that you've set this as a western form, so I'm sure the line fits a meter of some kind, but I wonder if there would be a way to say the same thing without ruining the meter and without the sort of interruption of the placement of "there". What do you think?
Take care,
Kelsey
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scribbler
Sat, 2017-05-13 23:18
Hi Kelsey
If you think things are changing quickly now just wait until a few more years pile on lol. I'll give the line you referenced needing help some thought when I edit this and I almost Always edit stuff, usually multiple times......appreciate the visit......stan
author commentjane210660
Sat, 2017-05-13 16:35
Change - not always for the better
Clever, I like the repetition of change and it's use at the end of each stanza. I like the ababc rhyming pattern, it helps give a gentle pace and I like the theme.
A lovely poem Stan
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scribbler
Sat, 2017-05-13 23:20
Hi Jane
Thank you. I've played with this rhyme scheme before. It sometimes allows for a poem within poem. And the abab pattern seems to me to make rhyming a bit less intrusive. Thanks for the visit and kind words........stan
author commentlovedly
Wed, 2017-05-24 12:33
The ONLY CONSTANT that eve did or will EWXIST IS change,,even
Even my mirror plays that game
by revealing time's effect on me
perhaps a mirror of life's change.
the crux of all change is it stanly
Earlier I had only
coins as change
now these are worthless
even beggars ask
for five dollars
This is real change
The
ONLY CONSTANT
that ever did
or will
EXIST
IS change,,
even as coins
The environment
the leadership
the mental
INABILITY
capability
of all who trample
humanity
changeability
is the ONLY
true possibility
scribbler
Wed, 2017-05-24 14:05
yep
But though it's constant doesn't mean we have to like all of it lol...............stan
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