Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Chains
Arms bound in cold steel
My heart bleeds black drops silenced
Rise, your time is now
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Splash Pool: How to use imagery in poetry..
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
RoseBlack
Mon, 2023-02-13 05:35
Thanks .Mark
My first attempt at a haiku
~RoseBlack~
author commentRoseBlack
Mon, 2023-02-13 10:05
Thanks Mark
I will make use of this
~RoseBlack~
author commentSeren
Mon, 2023-02-13 10:10
Can I please steal this too?
its polite to ask lol
hugs xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Rula
Sun, 2023-02-12 23:57
Hello dearest Carrie
This is so succinct and satisfying. The reader gets the message right to the point. Howeve, I am not sure if you meant it to be a 5/7/5 senryu, if so the third line has one syllable more
A-wake, /your/ time/ is/ now
Also I thought a comma after (awake) makes a smoother read, but as I said this is really perfect.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
RoseBlack
Mon, 2023-02-13 05:37
Hi Rula
I was trying for the 5/7/5...will have to pay closer attention next time. I agree that a comma after Awake, does make a smoother read. I will add that in. Thank you for your read and suggestions.
~RoseBlack~
author commentRoseBlack
Mon, 2023-02-13 05:38
I changed
Awake to Rise to see if that fits the 5/7/5
~RoseBlack~
author commentRoseBlack
Mon, 2023-02-13 05:37
Thanks Kat
Glad you enjoyed.
~RoseBlack~
author commentCandlewitch
Mon, 2023-02-13 05:43
dear Carrie,
I like this version much better than the other. it has strength and endurance!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Mon, 2023-02-13 06:16
Thanks Cat
Glad you enjoyed!
~RoseBlack~
author commentSeren
Mon, 2023-02-13 13:47
Dearest Carrie
I wrote a comment and it's not here.
I said that I really liked this one.
It's very different from the normal Haiku.
Well done!
Love and big hugs Jayne xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
RoseBlack
Mon, 2023-02-13 14:03
Thank you Jayne
It is my first attempt at Haiku. Glad you enjoyed.
~RoseBlack~
author commentSeren
Mon, 2023-02-13 14:09
Well you did a fine job.
Well you did a fine job.
It's always good to step out of your comfort zone.
Hugs and love Jayne xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Rosewood Apothecary
Mon, 2023-02-13 16:05
It’s dark redemption
Like a phoenix rising from the black cinders and ashes.
Tim
RoseBlack
Mon, 2023-02-13 18:16
Indeed
Time for new beginnings...
~RoseBlack~
author commentClentin
Sat, 2023-02-18 10:36
I saw your poem, liked it
I saw your poem, liked it very much.
Chains inspired me to try to write a haiku
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-02-18 10:38
I am glad
I was able to inspire you. I have been inspired by many on the site to start writing different types of poetry and styles. I have always enjoyed Haiku and this was my first attempt at one myself.
~RoseBlack~
author comment