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The Cat
I am the cat,
lying on the rug,
enjoying the caress
of the hands of poetry
smiling as I purred softly
" Love me more, my Sweet."
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
singapore
Favorite Poets
Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.
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Comments
lonlyhrtsclub13
Sat, 2014-03-01 20:24
I
Love this....it is short, elegant and meaningful. Cats are very special creatures to me. I enjoyed this simple poemIimmensely.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
alidzain
Sat, 2014-03-01 22:51
LOL
PoemIimmensely? Now this is the first time I hear this word. Thanks for visiting and for the comment. I used to have a few cats at home. Those were the good old days....
Alid
author commentlonlyhrtsclub13
Sun, 2014-03-02 07:38
lol
Got to love my not so smart phone....didnt even realize it messed up....lol
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Rula
Sat, 2014-03-01 22:18
I'm not
Fond of cats but I like the idea.
The ending is a bit mmm... a bit flowery, but I can't think of something to suggest. May be removing either "love" or" lovely" .
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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alidzain
Sat, 2014-03-01 22:58
Hi Rula
just asking, what kind of animals that you like? Anyway, I've changed "Lovely" to "Sweet"
Alid
author commentRula
Sat, 2014-03-01 23:17
only
Canaries I'd keep as pets.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
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raj
Sun, 2014-03-02 05:13
nicely done Alif
nicely done Alif
I tried to create a version 2 without using the word "Cat" ...to see if it creates the image of a Cat ...sort of a practice for Stan's imagery workshop
Donning a fur coat
lazing on the rug
licking my paws
brooding like a mug.
With feline instincts
I pricked at the footsteps,
surely my master
was at the door step.
Like a ball of wool
I rolled on the floor,
purring and mewing
at each gentle stroke
With my master back
my muse got sweet
so too my mews
with poetic ease
raj (sublime_ocean)
alidzain
Sun, 2014-03-02 05:16
not bad
maybe you can send it for the workshop when the time comes to post our poems..
Alid
author commentlonlyhrtsclub13
Sun, 2014-03-02 07:40
Would
Be a good one to expand on...got a great start
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"