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Captivity to Captor

The family stood up;
To break free;
Free of the chains of bondage;
Free from the cuffs that squeeze them;
The children hide in fear;
Hidden away in darkness;
To feel light will shine at the end of the tunnel;
To feel this word called hope;

Why were they born?
Will, we ever grow up to survive they muttered;
Will their life be different?
Their spirits weakened into time and space;
The days and months seemed to freeze;
Their voices drowned by the noises of violence;
Hoping to be heard, hoping to be seen;
But to no avail;

They grew up into monsters exuding hatred;
Lurking for a prey;
Parents scarred by torture;
Some died not knowing when and how;
Their children suffer emotional wounds;
The unseen trauma is seen too soon;
Won’t you share your story ;
To save a crying soul!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Hi everyone share your comment on how to improve this piece or perspective. Thanks much.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

the inner workings of Trinadad and Tobago, I went to Google and read about the beginnings of your country. I believe that your piece depicts the beginnings of the slave and prisoner trade. I don't see anything that I can change without, upsetting the flow and demeanor of it. ~ Geezer.
.

Geezer thank you for the comment. Actually, this piece was meant to explain the cycle of abuse and the children eventually becoming the perpetrator themselves perpetuating the cycle. It was not meant for slave and prisoner trade, but I understand what you meant.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

author comment

what you mean. Yes, I see it in my generation especially, a lot of men are becoming woke though and now the instances are fewer amongst my peers. ~ Geezer.
.

I do not see anywhere to improve this piece. you have done well.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Candlewitch thank you for taking the time to read this piece and for sharing your perspective.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

author comment
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