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Buckled Mirth

Laugh once
Laugh twice
Laugh 114 times

The giddy heights
Of hilarity
Won't save us

Although they are
A cheap way
To pass the wine

A dancing monkey
Is only terrible
On the end of a chain

Grind your organ
On the footpath
If you want to

The monotony
Of despair
Is a wound up pain

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage: 

Comments

A riddle unfolds as the music plays on, there could be more body to this one so that the reader can just be nudged in the right direction.
Good to have you back again!
Take care Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

used capuchain monkeys
not chimps....not orangutans
sloths nor apes

the capes were intelligent
chimps were violent
and ate peoples face
still apt to do

interesting....these little
monkeys bright enough to
work for nothing
like the imperialist state
work the human simians
from afar for a dollar a day
making a mass quota
for nothing

monkey cup

check it out
victorian times
children were used
but they ate much
cost much
and grew in size
requiring more grub
for profit

love it..pain
equals costs

so they are cutting
everything
for the human multitude
of affordable labour
here...

interesting that robotics
replaces us all
and when the robots
gain intelligence
created in the creators
image and given a choice
of morality or survival
of existance
where that might go

so we are true biorobots
and the robots will be
the next immortals
..hmm
nothing new..i could
have written science
fiction
too busy just being
free out here
like a monkey in the
jungle...

I gave it an edit. But decided it was a new poem and called it Free Advice.

author comment
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