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For Bob

Submitted by Lavender on Tue, 2020-05-19 14:59

It was a winter dance
in nineteen seventy-four.
A hundred years ago,
yet, here you are.
Did you know
how classy you were
at seventeen?
Well, I will tell you.
Your eyes confessed
more hope
than truth,
and your silence consoled
more prayer
than thought.

I will tell you that
dancing
was a level
of heaven
and the snow that night
promised peace on earth.
When the dance was over,
and summer took you from us,
there was such a pause
that even silence
fell to her knees
and seventeen
remained seventeen
forever.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2020-05-19 15:15

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So sweet and poignant. Is it what I think that it is? Was a seventeen year old handsome, classy boy taken from you in the summer of 1974? Speaking of classy; that's what this is. A classic example of a memory that stays with you forever. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
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Lavender

Tue, 2020-05-19 15:23

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Hyperventilated with this one. Yes, he was an angel, is an angel. No exaggeration. Brain tumor, but tremendous amount of courage and faith. Still miss him dearly. So glad I have memories. I appreciate all your help. Thanks so much.
L

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Geezer

Tue, 2020-05-19 17:57

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my pleasure, I enjoy working with everyone here. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Lavender

Tue, 2020-05-19 16:08

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Thank you so much for your sweet comment, and for reading!
L

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c lynn brooks

Tue, 2020-05-19 17:40

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only thing is the use of I will tell you so close to each other
wow otherwise this left me speechless

Chrys

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Geezer

Tue, 2020-05-19 17:56

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maybe could use, "I can tell you"? ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Lavender

Tue, 2020-05-19 18:06

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I agree, and will work on that.
Thank you!
L

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Lavender

Tue, 2020-05-19 18:04

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Good suggestion. I'll think it over a bit.
Thank you!
L

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Lavender

Tue, 2020-05-19 19:14

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I can only imagine the lovely music from your Strad. The violin is such a beautiful instrument. You have the best of both loves! Thank you for reading!
L

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Lavender

Sat, 2020-05-23 11:54

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Thank you for spending time here! I appreciate it so very much.
Will change to 'nineteen seventy-four.'
Agree with separating into two stanzas, and also appreciate learning a new poetry term - 'volta!' :)
I've been called out before using 'and' too often and too close together. Will change that.
I love personifying 'silence' to 'her' - absolutely wonderful! (Really wish I had thought of that one!)
Not certain about describing the snow with an adjective, will think that over.
Will also think over 'held' - I feel it needs to remain a somewhat simple conversation. May take a bit of thought there.

I am always flattered when someone reads my poetry, and doubly so when they bring such insight. I've learned quite a bit here, and hope to continue to grow.

Thanks, again!
L

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