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Behind the Answer
Heat behind the eyes intensifies as tears well up,
saliva pools in the mouth, swallowing to send it down.
that lump in the throat threatens to send me over,
all in response to a question making my heart cave in.
Just breathe. In. Out.
Bitten nails scratch into the palm as the hands clench,
shoulders tense then release, attempting to relax.
Eyes drawn to the scars marking my hands, haunting,
memories of the darkness comes back flooding.
Answer them. Look up.
I'm fine thanks, how have you really been?
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Last few words:
Lately felt myself slipping back into anxiety and depression after being triggered by a series of events that occurred within 2 days. Struggling to cope and feeling myself go under as I desperately try to tell myself I won't let it get worse. However felt I needed to share the physical symptoms I feel when someone asks me how I am, and my response of attempting to hold back the onslaught of emotions that threaten to pull me overboard. Yet my job and volunteer work requires me to be there to support others constantly and be there for them as they go through really difficult things and so answering "I'm fine" and then having to listen to their struggle is difficult at the moment. Still trying to accept that it's okay to not be okay.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Obadiah Grey
Mon, 2021-11-15 12:08
I think you're probably
I think you're probably stronger
and more resilient than you give yourself credit for!
at least that is what the piece tells me.
A well written, cathartic poem.
Obi.
Geezer
Mon, 2021-11-15 17:26
I agree...
with Obi; I think that you are much stronger than you think. We all have doubts about the things in our lives and in general;
at least you have a belief-system to help and people to support you. I think that you will be fine. My only question about this piece, is the last line. Is that the unspoken question that you hear, or is it something you are asking another? How have you [really] been? It sounds as though you want them to ask; "Really, how have YOU been?" If it is just asking the client, I would delete the [really]. Nice work. ~ Geezer.
.
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Ray Whitaker
Mon, 2021-11-15 19:45
Succinct. Strong
I liked the representation of nervousness…. Reminded me of the first time I ever asked a girl out!
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