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Becoming Serendipity Part 1

Submitted by Seren on Sat, 2012-09-01 06:47

i.

these are just some
of the million things,
I’ve wanted to tell her
but we never, have the time

there are a thousand
days of light and mystery
that were brought into my life …

Tu-whit!- Tu-whoo!

ii.

I forgot these things
as I flow into the ether
surrounding the pillars
of Olympus, and I,
rest in wait …

Tu-whit!- Tu-whoo!

iii.

she returns
as a moriah on the wind,
a whistle through the barley
and in a fallen mask of hope

a muse that was
entranced to dance
on the glimmer in my eye,

Serendipity

Tu-whit!- Tu-whoo!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

scribbler

Sat, 2012-09-01 12:21

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I'll give it a shot lol. Someone departed (mother perhaps?) who had tremendous effect on your life. I assume you break this by the Bird? song into 3 stages of grief with last being acceptance of memories being all that's left. If I'm wrong, blame yourself for being a bit obscure lol.................stan

Seren

Tue, 2012-09-04 02:58

Seren's picture

Sorry but your a little ways off from the meaning of this one, this is in part about my battle with mental illness there is another part to this poem I will post it and see if you can get a better take on this i had planned to post it tonight anyway ... thanks for the read and your thoughts always appreciated

hugs JC

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Esker

Sat, 2012-09-01 23:50

Esker's picture

bravado of winds
the slurry storms
the dry waver hiss

I am away
I am near
I am uncomforted
and alone
exposed in the
throng of the passion
of many

I am drowning as one

selves
the facet aspects of our
influences
the multitude and singular
Me

sometimes I forget and
sometimes I remember
who I am
or shall
or what
to
Be

Seren

Mon, 2012-09-24 07:53

Seren's picture

the lines of confusion often blur
under eyes the truth grips
its spell waves to toss

finding no purchase
another form appears
to be normal, untouched
but holding fast to the mania
threatening to emerge

looking through glass eyes
the lines of confusion

glaze

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-09-02 03:49

Ian.T's picture
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That you are now Serendipity, as they say one of the hardest of English words to translate, just be Happy that it is a "beautiful accident"
If your Muse is on Summer break it matters not you can always read my works LOL. Just stay as you are, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Seren

Mon, 2012-09-24 07:57

Seren's picture

I am sorry to answer you all so late life just got crazy on me, we are looking forward to the summer its still a little cool in the nights but our days are heating up I have plans to write till my fingers seize lol

I will be round for the next few months until my course starts in the new year

look forward to catching up with everyones writes I have already read a few and there are some stunning poems

much love Jc xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2012-09-03 01:07

Geezer's picture
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any doubt, that your muse is steering you in the right direction. I'm not sure if the fallen "mask of hope" means that your doubts about your ability has fallen or does it mean that you still doubt? You might change the word
[forgot to forget]. Love ya, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Seren

Mon, 2012-09-24 07:59

Seren's picture

thanks for the suggetions for this one I do plan on editting it over the next few months and I will take them all into consideration ...much love back atcha xxx

Sorry to be answering you so late

hugz

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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Geezer

Mon, 2012-09-24 08:10

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too late! Just glad that you are back for awhile! Always miss your work when you are gone. I will be waiting for your editing with baited breath. Hmmm... that sounds like the title of a new poem.Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Seren

Mon, 2012-09-24 08:18

Seren's picture

I have five months to do whatever the F I want lol I plan to write and maybe get into a few workshops :) I miss the place

higgest bugs

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Esker

Mon, 2012-09-03 01:18

Esker's picture

"this mask of Delven Desire..."

wasnt sure about Delven but it looks like a word
something from my long ago readings
and Desire was another word for hope

long ache or hunger pang wanton strive strode
foresee chance dusky star
glimmer light

now you got me going

desiree meaning Wished!!

so much out there with these new fangled humbug plinky clicker thingys
typewriters are loud but we wouldnt be having this convo though
Crikey!!

Seren

Mon, 2012-09-24 08:02

Seren's picture

Thank you so much for your suggestions your one of my favourites here its nice to have your input

delven ?? dont know if its a word but I will check :)

love ~

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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