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THE BATTLEFIELD AT YPRES
It is desolate and foreboding.
The soil is wet and clammy with blood.
Here and there bodies
Are shattered, torn and broken.
The large guns that once
Hammered and pounded the enemy’s defence
Lie silent.
Dead as the men that worked them.
But wait.
Through the trenches a lone soldier crawls,
His hands, his face, his knees are torn and bleeding.
A shrill whistle –
A thud,
And all is silent
As a shell furrows the bloody soil,
And ends another man’s life.
The soldier is still crawling, stumbling, falling
Over the dead and wounded
At the great battle field of Ypres.
He is the last of the few who survived the Great War.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
This is my very first poem. I was fourteen. It was published in Shankar's Children's Art Number (1961 page 221).
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Wed, 2023-03-01 08:47
How wonderful...
is that? Not the description of the battle, but the fact that you were published at fourteen! Even then, you showed a maturity and understanding of what war must be like. Very well done; it has held up well. Thanks for sharing this with us. ~ Geezer.
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Entend2u
Wed, 2023-03-01 08:58
Thanks Geezer
It was clearly the shape of things to come - I seem to have a fascination with war which resulted in writing a book about my parents in the war and now I do lots of research about certain topics in WW2.
author commentEntend2u
Wed, 2023-03-01 09:48
Thanks Ekaterina
I am glad you thought it a good poem - I put the reference to the page number so it could be traced and would have done so even if it was obviously a bad poem - although can anyone's first ever poem be a bad poem - probably not.
author commentSeren
Wed, 2023-03-01 12:19
I'm guesstimating your age.
So you were probably brought up on war stories. I was born later but educated by my grandfather on the atrocities of war. He fought in WW2. I think the decades you grew up in matured children much quicker. Fathers and sons and uncles etc came back changed men and children had to in some cases grow up because of circumstance. Some just because the world was a different place.
For a 14yr old your understanding of what war was, was exceptional. Congratulations on bring published at such a young age.
Good luck in the competition!..
Kind regards Jayne
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Entend2u
Thu, 2023-03-02 04:27
Thanks Jayne
Yes I was born 20 months after the end of the war. My father was a lowly despatch rider in the war. It was only after his death when I researched his experiences that I realised how dangerous his job was. He was rescued on the last day of evacuation from Dunkirk and participated in D Day.
author commentSeren
Thu, 2023-03-02 10:30
Entend2u
My grandfather fought in the jungles of Papua new Guinea, he was a medic going out retrieving bodies while also fighting the Japanese who were fierce fighters. He was captured and escaped with others who were POW's we never knew his suffering until shortly before he died and he was reliving it during times he was delirious. He explained some of this when he was lucid the rest we learnt after he passed. He fought in other fields of combat but it was his last posting that scarred him the most.
Thank you for sharing your father's story, he was much More than a lowly dispatch rider sometimes those messages and orders were the difference between life and death for thousands. Your Dad was a hero.
Kind regards Jayne
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Entend2u
Fri, 2023-03-03 01:33
This is why we must remember those who gave us life and freedom
Hi Jayne
Your grandfather's experiences moved me so much - another unsung hero having to endure so much terror and hardship to keep us free. If you look on my page you will see two poems about the horrors of war - "This Leaf Falls" and "There is so much pain in the world".
author commentLavender
Wed, 2023-03-01 22:38
The Battlefield At Ypres
Hello!
Oh, my. I looked up the battles at Ypres. Unfathomable number of casualties. Your poem places us right there. And I can't help but feel the anxiety of the crawling soldier. You've done an amazing job in your description, especially since writing this when you were 14 years old.
Thank you,
L
Entend2u
Thu, 2023-03-02 04:32
Thanks Lavender
Someone described British soldiers in WW1 as "lions led by donkeys" - any war is terrible but that was one of the worst.
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2023-03-02 06:16
hello,
at age 14 you were so aware of your surroundings and sensitive to the people around you. did you hear stories of the war? this is a fantastic accounting of what it must have been like for many. be proud of your grandfather, for he was a true hero! this is a great poem!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Entend2u
Thu, 2023-03-02 10:03
Hi Cat
My grandad (mother's side) was in the British army even before the WW1 - he served in India in the early 1900's then he re-enlisted when WW1 came along and even worked in a military establishment after that war. Unfortunately he died when I was very young so I couldn't ask him about that war.
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