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At The Bar- Challenge #18

Closing time, only one left
Head down in a vodka escape
Sadness ebbed blood red
Through lifeless eyes

Twenty years flashed
Like a reel through time
Good deeds gone punished
No hope to find

Bartender says it's time to go
She lets out a sigh
One last sip and a final tear
Splinters against her despair

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Last line there it’s “despair”

Other than that I think it’s pretty finished. You have a really good one here.

For catching that typo! Going to make the change now.

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author comment

a very fine answer to the challenge! I hope to come back to this tomorrow, as I'm whipped today.
it deserves a decent reading and answer.

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I will await your full review and response.

Join in our collaborative poem workshop. Each member will have a chance to write two stanzas at least four lines each. The stanzas must be relative to the poem.

author comment
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