Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Bad Seed
Bad Seed
It's such a shame
Can't find it in herself,
Puts all that blame
on the likes of someone else.
She'd never think
To look inside
Not even blink
The girl knows how to hide...
She thinks she's so sensitive
All those times she cried
Alone in her room,
Whispered goodbyes
As her tears roll down
From "little lost martyr girl" eyes
Alternating ass-kicker attitude
Demanding tribute
with usual platitude
Don't expect any thanks,
Only frustration
With scowl and sneer,
She fakes gratitude
That's all you'll get
From this little creation
Of the ever growing population
From the petulant products
Of the "Gimme Generation!"
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Another poem for the manuscript; "Mirror/rorriM" please be free with your suggestions.
Thanks, Cat
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Region & Country
Northwestern Wisconsin USA
Favorite Poets
Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Splash Pool: How to use imagery in poetry..
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
Candlewitch
Fri, 2012-04-20 11:47
Dear Lonnie,
The poem is about my great neice, who my sister raised (with no values what-so-ever) She is spoiled rotten and has never had any real discipline. She irritates the hell out of me. As she has no respect for anything or anyone. Thanks for reading an commenting.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentjudyanne
Thu, 2012-04-19 22:32
lol
has someone peeved you cat?
such a true write though... this generation of which you speak ... i wonder where the fault lies ... where the mistake happened...
one thing i would suggest - imho it would read easier and clearer if you divided it into stanzas - gives the reader time to pause between thoughts...
love judy
\xxxxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Candlewitch
Fri, 2012-04-20 13:35
Dear Judy,
LOL! Yes a certain someone has provoked this piece. I explained it to Lonnie, above. And I see it in so many of the younger generation... I call them "the gimme generation" because of their self-centeredness (selfish natures) I'll see what I cn do for breaking this into verses. Thanks!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentweirdelf
Fri, 2012-04-20 02:33
A significant truth
of adolescence
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Candlewitch
Sun, 2012-04-22 12:57
Dear Jess,
And what a spoiled rotten generation it is :) Thanks, Jess.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentpleiades
Fri, 2012-04-20 02:51
when did you meet my daughter
when did you meet my daughter?
.
weirdelf
Fri, 2012-04-20 03:00
by reading you
The true poet can not hide themselves.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Candlewitch
Sun, 2012-04-22 12:59
Dear P.
I almost choked with laughter after reading your response! ROFLMAO! Thanks for reading and responding!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2012-04-22 13:01
Dear P.
somehow my response got put down below!
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentloved
Fri, 2012-04-20 13:41
After a late age
seeds do sour
tc
lovely poetry
loved