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AUTUMN THROUGH THE WINDOW
The first light frost of autumn
glistens beneath the rising sun
like a quilt of clearest quartz
declaring that warm nights are done.
Leaves which till now were all green
will soon reveal their hidden shades
joining with their vibrant brothers
while wild geese honk their serenades.
There drops a single poplar leaf
gliding golden to the ground,
it floats slowly limb to limb
to rest with kinfolk all around.
Each tic on limb as it descends
mirrors the ticking of life's clock
slowly marking passing time
and the reaper's patient stalk.
All seen through a pane of glass
at the ending of October dawn.
For some reason my thoughts turn
to friends and family who are gone.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
loved
Sun, 2013-10-27 22:53
such serenity
Only autumn does bring
and in many hearts
your words ring …
yes autumns denote the love shorn
and by all standards
to heaven gone …
as they most of them say
to be reborn
one day we do will be gone
like the autumns
golden love shorn
on a heartbreaking dawn
loved
scribbler
Mon, 2013-10-28 16:48
Hi Loved
Yes , autumn is a season of contrasts. The joy of completed harvests vs. the dread of winter's approaching cold. Just as age brings wisdom but part of that wisdom is surety of diminishing time. Appreciate your visit..........stan
Roscoe Lane
Mon, 2013-10-28 03:40
No one,
No one can get ahead of the march of time, as the seasons and your poem reminds us. Nice work Stan got me thinking. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
scribbler
Mon, 2013-10-28 16:50
Hi Roscoe
We have about as much chance stopping the march of time as we do the rising and falling of tides. Hope your thinking didn't give you Too bad a headache lol......................stan
China Blue
Mon, 2013-10-28 10:32
Stan
As always is the case. You paint a picture with your words. Just beautiful( although I do not like the cold)
Give me something I can change or correct or even suggest lol
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
scribbler
Mon, 2013-10-28 16:53
Hi stranger lol
You could suggest a better title maybe . Glad to see you are back and I appreciate you taking time for such kind comment...........stan
China Blue
Mon, 2013-10-28 19:38
Stan
I cannot as it sounds like the title of a painting and your words PAINT images
the title is what drew me in and that it an excellent start then of course the author lol
It is good to see(read) so many new folks here and some of my old adversaries are here
to disagree with me but it is all in the learning isn't it
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
scribbler
Mon, 2013-10-28 21:50
LOL
Well I tried. As to adversaries, it might get a bit dull if we had No adversaries but at least they seem to have become a bit more civil lately...................stan
Nordic cloud
Tue, 2013-10-29 06:25
Oh beautiful stan, and you
Oh beautiful stan, and you said something about my
"When all the birds have flown" Now i can say the same to you,
and lovely descent like a dance, and a weeping into Autumn.
Love Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
scribbler
Tue, 2013-10-29 11:14
Hi Ann
I have been short of time lately so I find myself not being able to read and comment as much as I'd like. But I'm glad I did heve time to read your birds poem. Appreciate your dropping by............stan
Seren
Tue, 2013-10-29 08:05
Exquisite Stan
You have come so very far on this journey we are all on, Your language use is beautiful I cannot find fault
Its sooooo nice to be back reading everyone again I have missed you all like mad hopefully I wont be going anywhere anytime soon lol
hugs and love Bro JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
scribbler
Tue, 2013-10-29 11:16
Hi Jayne
The prodigal poet returns lol. I guess a person can't read and write without learning Something. It's good to see you have returned and I hope you and yours are doing well................stan
mand
Mon, 2013-11-04 10:56
Stan!
Crisp and clear! love so many lines here Stan! "like a quilt of clearest quartz" .. Lovely.
Artistic imagery and a pleasure to read.
LOve Mand xxxx
scribbler
Mon, 2013-11-04 21:25
Hi Mandy
Apparently this blind hog found an acorn lol. Thank you, I'm pleased you came by and glad you like it................stan