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Alternate Eyes... August Contest/ Rhyme and Rhythm
What if the rain was dry
and the desert sand was wet?
Could I go to bed to wake up
and laugh to be upset?
What if I follow in your footsteps
close upon your heel?
Will you embrace my heart, my love
What if you cannot feel?
What if I told the world a lie
But I told myself the truth
What if I lived backward
went from age to youth?
What if money didn't matter
or the status quo
What if being smart and educated
wasn't what you know?
What if death was the beginning
of a life renewed
What if decay smelled sweet
and satin was thought crude?
What if all the world were crazy
except for me and you?
If there were some sanity
whatever would we do?
What if a thing were easy
but no one ever tried?
What if I lost my laugh
would it matter if I cried?
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
Last few words:
I didn't realize how challenging this was going to be. I thought that being a rhymer, I had this one in the bag!
Editing stage:
Contest:
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Author information
Region & Country
New York State - USA
Favorite Poets
Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.
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Comments
brittle light
Sun, 2017-08-20 07:17
Gee
I don't usually comment on poems participating in ongoing workshops or contests,
just wanted to tell you I was here, and enjoyed the poem...good luck
Al
Geezer
Mon, 2017-08-21 12:37
Thanks Al...
Glad that you enjoyed. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentscribbler
Sun, 2017-08-20 10:54
Hi Geeze
One of your best in my opinion. It captured, for me, the way the world seems to have turned upside down lately (or down side up? )..........stan
Geezer
Mon, 2017-08-21 12:42
Glad that...
you liked it and hope that the world turns right side up or maybe left side down pretty soon. I'm tired of trying to make sense of it all. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
author commentDooreen Cash
Fri, 2017-09-01 17:39
Hi Geezer
Nice write! This contest is quite the challenge. So I wrote one and it is different. Do I post it straight to the main stream? Would love to enter!
D.Cash
Sparrow
Fri, 2017-09-01 19:02
Gee
Welcome to the easy rhyme a new taste
A place where I walk in grace,
Whoops there I go again Rhyming,
when all I need to do is send.
Words keep coming out in streams, no end.
Never figured out if it was wrong.
Lets get serious and comment true,
The piece you wrote, put me in a stew
Turned my world upside down,
Damn, it changed my smile into a frown.
Now I have put my shoes on my hands
I see the world as it is meant to be.
Try it my friend and you will see.
Let me get away from this demise.
I have a puzzle for you,
I have a full length mirror and it tells me lies.
My right side seems to be left, I am bereft,
is there nothing that is true,
do I look that way to you????
Loves you Gee, great write,
Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti