Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

By All Means

By all means, HE will shelter you.
Storms may come, yet you see the sun.
Darkness follows, yet never crosses your path.
Others fall, yet you stand tall.
Sorrow touches your heart, yet you feel comforted.
Others doubt you, yet joy is forever present.
Fear comes; HE is there.
By HIS Voice peace forever abide; by all means.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I like this first poem of yours. It flows very well, it has a powerful message, and just enough imagery to evoke that feeling of otherness and timelessness that I enjoy in a poem, without making it too prosaic or in-your-face.
One criticism: you don't need to capitalize entire words, particularly when refering to our Creator. A simple 'His' and 'He' would suffice. Everyone will know and understand who you are talking about!
Another criticism:
"By HIS Voice peace forever abide"

I might say it

"By His Voice peace forever abides"

because it gives the line more immediacy, better cadence, and it puts the focus on Him and His voice, which are the reason for peace.

Like I said, I like this. I like it a lot. I think its a great first poem.
I look forward to reading more from you!
Again, welcome to Neopoet.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Although well constructed and I agree with the above comment on caps as it is overdone in my opinion. I consider it screaming. It loses relativity when it is aimed at a particular audience - Christians. Lots of em out there but others as well and then the non-believers (atheist) I believe the message is as important as any other aspect of a poem.
Back for a final thought. You use the words you and your repeatedly. I find the way in which those words are used in this poem to be preachy. Are you a preacher?
Best of luck here,
Mark

enough already said about That lol. I like your poem about your strong belief. Welcome to the asylum. Should you have any navigation or other problems on site just holler. If I can't help I'll point you to somebody who can

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.