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All in all

I want to give you my all
When I hear destiny’s call
Before into your eyes I fall
Like a divine waterfall.

Not a moment I’ll stall,
I’ll be stopped by no wall
And fear no damn brawl,
Cause it’s my heart that you stole.

Instead, I’ll stand tall,
I will gladly play ball
Step boldly into the dance hall.

I’ll see you come fall,
Bring back your maroon shawl,
And by the river we’ll stroll.

It is my ultimate goal
To just give you my all.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

A lover man expressing his mutual love and concern over her woman.
A very romantic poetry!
Beautifully worded. Nice piece!

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

Although the poem was an exercise in wordplay, there is love behind it.

author comment

I liked these lines:

It is my ultimate goal
To just give you my all.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Cat every woman would like to hear this lines from their lover. LoL!
"It is my ultimate goal
To just give you my all.

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

Sometimes simple goals can be very hard to fulfill, as often happens in love.

author comment

Nowhere is the word 'love' mentioned. Instead, you use implication, need, and emotion to tell us exactly what you are feeling.
Excellent love poetry.
I've written quite a lot of these myself.
No real criticisms, just much, much appreciation.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

I very much appreciate your comment and will definitely check out your love poetry.

Cheers,
Jack

author comment
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