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ADONAI!

Submitted by Aesthetic Night on Wed, 2023-03-08 07:16

I’m more than what you see
There’s something deep inside me
That makes me laugh, makes me cry
That oft times makes me feel like dying
What purpose would it serve
To do something that absurd
So when I’m down I hold it back
Collect my thoughts to stay on track
And when the night is dark and cold
I think of all the stories told
Held within my frenzied mind
And close my eyes
Take a breath or two
And silently remember You!
That someday I might dwell with You!
Adonai, Adonai, Adonai!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I can't seem to find the words to adequately express myself, there are so many people that I don't want to offend, because my views are so strong on the subject before me, but please render a reply to help clarify my thoughts. I want this to come out just right. I'm lonely, cold and tired and have an illness that sometimes plagues me both day and night. What's said has been said and I think I've made it clear enough to help you understand. Where it is that I stand. Thank you for any comment that you might have.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2023-03-08 07:51

Geezer's picture
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is what holds many people together. I think that one must have faith in something, whether it be God, [no matter how you call it], or something else. One without faith in something, anything, is a very lonely person.
Far be it from me, to disparage a person for believing that there is someone or something greater than us. As long as it is a thing beneficial to us, what does it matter? You have written a piece that will resonate with most everyone, if they look behind the obvious. Good work, ~ Geezer.
.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

Aesthetic Night

Wed, 2023-03-08 07:52

Thanks again!

The only difference between a grave and a rut is that one has an open end!
Just keep moving, writing, whatever it takes! You've got it sussed!

author comment

Ekaterina Alexa...

Thu, 2023-03-09 08:51

Ekaterina Alexandrovna Sherbatskaya's picture

Dear Aesthetic Night,
We love that you have something deep inside of you. The way you can express yourself through your poetry is great, and this theme and title are very appealing to the reader. Well done :) I'm sure that we have all felt this way before. Sending big hugs.
Kat Xxx

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