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Adieu

I haven’t thought much about her ashes
since she’s been gone. Grief, as I’ve known it,
never needed a physical place to take up residence

But I’m worried about the ashes now
as we try and make our peace
with dispersing the dust of what is left behind

How will I know which ashes were there on my first day of school?
Which ones listened to me when I needed to share my troubles?
Maybe I’ll be able to make out those that were part of her smile…

All I can know for certain is that love
is where the ashes and dust came from
and love will place them over the welcoming sea,
along the November coast where she would want to be

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Thoughts on letting go for a second time.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

that saying good bye takes as long as it will.
Nice use of enjambment..
Mark,
.
.

Thanks Mark! Jamming with enjambment - LOL!

Cheers

Michael Anthony

author comment

I think that your title is fine.
It is from a language that makes many ordinary things sound
as though they are something special. "Adieu" sounds nothing like death or goodbye.
The pacing and rhythm ebbs and flows, leaving time in between, leaving time
for reflection upon the questions. This theme has special meaning as of now, for myself
in particular, because one of my sisters and I have been tasked with our mother's funeral
arrangements. [She wishes to be cremated]. You have led us from the beginning, to the
end, with the grace of your musings and the internal logic of your poem is not lost here.
Nice piece of work~ Geezer.
.

When you are writing for the Random Challenge!
Example: "I Need To Recharge" is prompt.
title is "Plugging In" It should appear this way:
"Plugging In" - Random Challenge/ I Need To Recharge

Thank you for the insights Geez. As we scattered my mother's ashes recently, it created a mix of emotions - a sense of closure and grief renewed.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

A touching piece that hit home.

Obi

Thank you sir!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Hi Michael, a very touching piece with sad but lovely imagery. It must hit close to home for many people. I remember being given my husband's ashes in a box and having to decide where to place them, as he left no indications.
The strangest thing happened, because the box had some sort of thick gravel, not ashes at all. No wind would have blown them away. So my daughter and I buried them under some trees behind a temple on a hill. To this day I don't know whether they are his true ashes.
I like your title and the spacing is very good. Don't think I have any nits, but certainly like your poem. All the best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Thanks for stopping by Gracy! Sorry to hear about the doubt in regard to your husbands ashes (pebbles?). For our sanity, I suppose we have to go with trust when it comes to the ashes of the physical remains.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Having lost a dear family member this year. Worked well, this one.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Thank you Ray. Appreciate you stopping by.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

You captured the mood, memories and feeling so well... Definitely impacted. We scattered my Dad's ashes out in Georgia Strait where we would do a lot of sailing and salmon fishing growing up. The boat captain we hired to take us out, took us to some waters near what is called the Bath Islands and this is where he was scattered. Was a perfect moment, as one of his favourite things in the world was having an nice hot bath...

Thanks for stopping by OHMS! Great story about your father too - thanks for sharing, and glad this one worked for you.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

ADIEU

Now most cremate
merge the ashes
Salute
Non knows
MY MOMS SMILES
my best poem still many sing
Have you read it here
At least say
Adieu

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