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562 years Incarnate

Last night some real God came to me
and said
ole man
I shall relieve you of all your responsibilities
till then the next three months enjoy humanity

as after that you will roam about
in my vast endless Kingdom
no clothes needed

you will be bare merged with ether
your fragrance shall spread miles
in your imitable style
no one will be able to see you
all this while

but for the next 562 years
you will replace
Shakespeare

since I will use your soul
you don't believe in
making another
better SHAKESPEARE
Humanly

so there after all will have but to follow ye
Oh my Lovedly

sad No Nobel they will give thee
@nearing 80
as you now have no need of money

fragrance be your share
and let all admire
as naked about the world you flow
without any more human attire

but sad
none will still ever
Lovedly know
but for centuries
you will forever glow

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

just the idea of "some real God" , as there might be many, and they are flaky too. very cute.
As the whole poem is spoken by this god, why not in "quotes"
The idea that god is telling you (ole man???) that you have 3 weeks to live before you run around naked out there, and for 562 years you will replace Shakespeare. really very much fun ideas, keeping the reader entertained and interested. The abstract number 562 works great.

Then the poem totally breaks down.

since I will use your soul
you don't believe in
making another
better SHAKESPEARE
Humanly

this stanza makes no sense to me, ending in an adjective.

so there after all will have but to follow ye
Oh my Lovedly

sad No Nobel they will give thee
@nearing 80
as you now have no need of money

These stanza's again float in obscurity. The "Yoda" speak is extremely distracting. If you want to be taken seriously, "sad No Nobel they will give thee" will not cut it.
Why is it sad that you aren't getting a Nobel prize, as you don't need the money?.. why is "No" in caps. What does money have to do with it? What makes you deserve the Nobel prize, or to replace the Bard?

fragrance be your share
and let all admire
as naked about the world you flow
without any more human attire

but sad
none will still ever
Lovedly know
but for centuries
you will forever glow

Sad you didn't get the Nobel, sad none will know you in the future but you will glow, your spirit will be known. Consider the reader here. What are you trying to say?

So I think the poem has a great opener, is going someplace, but needs to develop. It sounds at the end it has a false self pity, after a fun opener of "some God" and all the rest.

Ferlinghetti is 100 and still writing some. WS Merwin died a few weeks ago at 91, he wrote till the end. You are 80. Unless you have a silver ball, there's still time to write that opus and get the Nobel.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I was about to go into depression
till I read this last sentence A man who has just three weeks must keep himself busy
Your analysis now will. Do you not find humour in my seeking a Nobel some called me wanker -some masturbatory- some self seeking B
and machine gun poet splashing aimlessly
and so on
while on a world poetry site I am second best and most read Thanks for ur lovely time and devotion/dedication of 562 poem Eumol

author comment

Sorry, didn't see the Pulitzer reference as humorous in the way you present them.
Anyway, prizes don't mean much anymore- Kendrick Lamar can get a Pulitzer for Music for some rap style electronic stuff and he doesn't actually know how to read music, nor does he play an instrument. Obama got the Nobel for Peace. Really? what war did he stop? Dylan got a Nobel- love the songs but no monumental book of poems, plays, novels or other forms of "literature." Who cares anymore. All fake news. The award is the joke.

Glad you are having success on a world poetry site. When I see a poem i judge it on the merits, whether written by the poet laureate or a student. From me you'll only "get the raw truth" or as Yoda would say "on you back you will be knocked"

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

From me you'll only "get the raw truth" or as Yoda would say "on you back you will be knocked"

*been very busy shall revert to editing soonly
as so kindly advised EUMOL

U alone I find as sincere
NOBEL what!
is all fun all delivery by a few
who want to show ....

power etc
I am not that worthy
yet
but I enjoy being read
not RED

author comment

have gotten attention. I guess that the more people that are aware of you, [making sense or not] the more likely you are to getting a Noble or Pulitzer! ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

[making sense or not]

the more likely you are to getting

a Noble or Pulitzer!

author comment
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