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THE 3:05
The far whistle of the three oh five
echoes through the winter night
and coyotes' answers soon arrive.
It seems They're barely out of sight.
Does the train carry naught but freight
or perhaps just one lone passenger car
which maybe carries six or eight
folks bound to some place afar?
The whistle resounds in night's deep
then slowly takes its fares away
after waking me from sleep.
I close my eyes and drift away.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
See, I Can write a short poem lmao
Editing stage:
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Comments
lovedly
Fri, 2017-04-28 12:20
three (oh!) five
three -0- five 3 O 5
may be better Stan
In a place I knew
a village with maximum population
the train whistled at 5.15 am
It was too early to rise
too late to go back to sleep
what did then couples do
but not sleep ,
yet to gether they made up
for the balance time
till all village girls became pregnant
the Mayor then passed an ORDER
NO whistling of the train
through the village anymore
then guys relieving themselves
died more
as the train now silently passed their door
they couldn't see nor hear for sure
the train just silently passed
the driver happy galore
not knowing
what may have happened for sure
scribbler
Mon, 2017-05-01 10:36
Hi loved
Some whistles start races your whistle started adding to the races lol. Thanks for the visit.......stan
author commentlovedly
Sat, 2017-05-06 21:57
beautiful Stan
o man
that's why each poetry of yours
since ages I scan
we both together ran
remember many Dawns
since gone
even though
we two were poles apart
born
scribbler
Mon, 2017-05-01 10:38
Hello
I like writing about trains and usually these poem do "run " to length. Thought I'd give readers a break from having to wade through another of my rambles lol..........stan
author commentscribbler
Mon, 2017-05-01 10:39
Hi Mark
This was written late at night (how's that for an excuse?) so it being a bit off is no surprise lol. I'll keep your ideas in mind in eventual edit...........stan
author commentGeezer
Sun, 2017-04-30 10:02
We all...
mistakes Stan. Don't try to hide your perfect rhyming and near perfect cadence with the label of free-verse!
I guess that must be why I wake up at three-thirty-nine every morning. Those trains are getting faster every day! LOL
~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Mon, 2017-05-01 10:41
lol
I at times intentionally mislabel the type poetry I'm posting just to see if anybody is paying attention lol. Good to see at least One reader has eagle eye lol............stan
author comment