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2 A.M.Train Whistle
Barely there, at first,
slipping out from the darkness
it stirs the dreams
of sleeping suburbs.
Closer, yet,
raising its lungs,
it sighs into the stillness
of the empty night air.
Bellowing above houses,
over buildings and trees,
it moans, now,
anxious, awakened, alive.
It is haunting,
it is longing
as it trembles across
roads, rivers, and fields,
leaving behind an exhale
and one flashing red light.
Style / type:
Free verse
Editing stage:
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Comments
c lynn brooks
Fri, 2020-05-15 18:03
Lavendar
There is nothing more lonesome than the whislle o atrasin break through the we hours of night.There is a train that goes rumbling through here at 6 am
your first stanza is perfect
one small item what if you were to say raising rather then rousing it is up to you
Chrys
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Lavender
Fri, 2020-05-15 18:11
Raising
Hello, Chrys,
I like "raising" a lot and will replace!
Thank you for reading and your wonderful suggestion!
L
Geezer
Fri, 2020-05-15 22:10
I like...
this because I used to hear a train go through a little town I once lived in at 12:37 am every morning and then the stillness settled in and the crickets started chirping again and it was as though a ghost had passed by, leaving a trail of loneliness.
I don't know; but "raising it's lungs" doesn't sound quite right, while raising it's voice sounds better, I think that emptying its' lungs might be even better; as it sounds as though it is chuffing off into the night. Whatever you decide, it's your poem and I like it. ~ Geezer.
.
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Lavender
Fri, 2020-05-15 22:36
Hi, Geezer
I love the sound of a train, it's like nothing else. Thank you for your thoughts into "raising its lungs" - I definitely want the action to be associated with air/breathing in some way. Always appreciate your input!
L
scribbler
Fri, 2020-05-15 22:39
Hi
There's just something about a night train's whistle isn't there? I enjoyed this
Lavender
Fri, 2020-05-15 22:41
Hi, Scribbler
Yes! I dearly love the sound.
Thank you!
L
lovedly
Sat, 2020-05-16 05:46
your train poem reminds me
your train poem reminds me
of a small village with population explosion
compared to its inmates and space
A train always passed by
whistling daily at 4.30 am
Then it was too early
to wake up
too late to go back to sleep
what else could couples do
your guess is as good as mine
Such is the expansiveness of imagery
related to whistling
now by trains only
lovely population grew up
silently
Lavender
Sat, 2020-05-16 11:10
Hello, Lovedly
Seems we all have our own images and memories associated with the sound of a train.
Thank you for reading!
L
Lavender
Sat, 2020-05-16 11:12
Hello Teddy!
I appreciate your kind words and thoughts!
Thank you!
L
Lavender
Sun, 2020-05-17 10:41
ing...
Hello, Mark!
I think a train whistle makes all of us pause. There's just something about that sober sound that hits home.
Very interesting suggestion regarding "ing." I think it will also tidy up the appearance of the poem, too. I will keep it in mind, and give it a whirl in future writing!
Thanks for all your help!
L
Lavender
Sun, 2020-05-17 11:00
Trackworker
Good morning, Jerry!
Poor fellow. Occasionally hear of such things. Horrific.
I am still glad you liked the poem.
Thank you!
L