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tulip
On the way to the beheading, I fell off the wagon
and disappeared into the angry throng.
Well, there you are, the plight of a poet
in one sentence if not another.
But poetry will never leave me alone for long,
the temptation is always here--
in my waking
fingertips, for I have been accused of sleeping too long.
My judge and my jury, I'm just a melancholy
woman walking through Elysian fields. A gladiator's theme.
A tulip too tall to embrace
death just yet. Trees falling all around me, the scent of papyrus
carrying me across the river on a boat of hollow reeds,
I write.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Kailashana2
Wed, 2011-12-07 09:11
As has been suggested by my
As has been suggested by my friend, Stanley, some of my poems need a *heads up*, as it were....so here's some thoughts I share of what went into this poem:
1. There's a saying that the tallest tulip gets cut first for they are the first ones seen.
2. Also the history that is being written now would seem to be gearing up to angry crowds willing to behead (at least figuratively) the new elite aristocracy....the plutocracy of the corporate empires.
author commentscribbler
Wed, 2011-12-07 12:04
Hello
Very little to suggest in the theme or wording. But there might be alternatives to structure that would enhance. Just as an example:
On the way to the beheading
I fell off the wagon
and disappeared into the angry throng
and there you are, the poet's plight
one sentence or the other
But poetry never deserts me
its temptation always here
at my waking fingertips
having been accused of oversleeping
I am my judge and jury
a meloncholy woman
walking the Elysian fields
singing the gladiators' theme
A tulip too tall to embrace death
yet
trees fall all around me
as the scent of papyrus
follows me across the river
on a boat of hollow reeds
Just an alternative you are free to discard if it does not suit you............stan
Kailashana2
Thu, 2011-12-08 04:46
Thank you for your
Thank you for your suggestions, Scribbler. There are many poems I write and send off in the format you displayed, however, this is not one of them. The ending is important because *I write (still)* is the culmination of all thought, emotion and criticism (critique) therefore the context of the *papyrus scent* carrying me across the river, and not the boat (of hollow reeds), even as the boat as the writing tool is carrying me, so to speak.
Thanks for the read Mr. Scribe.
~A
author commentwesley snow
Thu, 2011-12-08 21:32
I wonder if papyrus...
... would float on the river Styx. I think I agree with some of Stan's line breaks, but don't think the poem requires it. The piece works both ways with one merely offering aesthetics. I could read this as though it were me. A slick little work.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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pleiades
Sun, 2011-12-11 17:53
"I'm just a melancholy
"I'm just a melancholy
woman walking through Elysian fields. A gladiator's theme.
A tulip too tall to embrace
death just yet. Trees falling all around me, the scent of papyrus
carrying me across the river on a boat of hollow reeds,"
these lines fairly jumped out at me...i think they're outstanding
an empty vessel...a sponge...travelling life's path, absorbing, learning,
being filled with experiences and revelations garnered on the journey.
terrific writing wildheart...one i keep coming back to
love
p
Esker
Wed, 2012-04-04 01:00
Head and Tails...
corporate and protest
much like "Wag the dog"
taxes on all things collected
interest
static
collecting the head was easy
proof positive
now we just have U Tube and Internet
with its much loved garishness
for martyrs and leaders fallen
people will always follow
and pluck what they will
like locusts
life sometimes is the game
of coin toss
and all that glitter spinning
like the truth spilling....
Esker
Wed, 2012-04-04 01:02
Hey yah P
Didnt even see your comment!! just loved the poem title on scroll work
saw Tulip and thought Spring is here knowing that it wouldnt be about
spring.....Poet preference taste for me..and as always not left hungry
.Thank You kaila!