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SILENT WOODS
The leaves about are mostly green
but many have become bright red
as crimson as bold roses seen
in midst of any flower bed.
After the thunder, all is still,
nary any type of wild birds sing.
The slightest whispers now sound shrill
and bitter haze makes tired eyes sting.
The passing tempest left trees shattered
on both sides of this rutted road
where once horse drawn hearses clattered
while transporting their dismal load.
Now the battle rages far from here
the soldiers, cannons and wagons gone
so I wipe away an errant tear,
shoulder my shovel and move on.
* more people died per minute at the Antietam road battle than in any other battle in the war between the states. This is for those who had to bury them............scribbler
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Tue, 2011-08-30 18:19
Hi Eph
I'll probably take a day off before long to edit stuff and I expect I'll use some of your ideas. Thanks for dropping in......stan
author commentscribbler
Tue, 2011-08-30 18:23
HEY!
Who you calling an old man?!? I'll have you know I'm an old fart lmao. Any time I write on the subject of war or its aftermath and a veteran tells me I did well, I consider that praise indeed.............stan
author commentscribbler
Wed, 2011-08-31 14:02
Hi Rose
I always appreciate your ideas. I am not quite happy with this poem yet and will keep your suggestion in mind when I edit in a few days..........stan
author commentloved
Wed, 2011-08-31 12:40
War They Say
War is the most expensive
And
Useless hobby,
Yet some become famous
And
Some are rendered rich.
You are a specimen man,
Of a variety belonging
to which?
I got a job
As I was useless,
Clearing now all human garbage,
Tis worth my while,
As you all know
I smile the entire mile,
As I dance foxtrot
Still mighty slow
loved
scribbler
Wed, 2011-08-31 14:04
hi loved
If we could just live and let live the world would be a much better place wouldn't it? Thanks for the visit......stan
author commentlovedly
Sat, 2015-01-31 20:24
my my i learned today
i had annoyed you miles away
that's why from me
u 4 ever stay away
good day
we were both born many dawns away
you can't forget the day
ur knees got knocked off
and my ears were boxed off
we are identical in some ways
remember Stan?
scribbler
Sun, 2015-02-01 10:06
Hi Lovedly.
If you annoyed me you wouldn't have to hear about it from somebody else. I'm capable of letting you know myself lol. So don't worry about that. I've been a bit busy here with getting contests rolling, developing a new workshop and actually trying to write a verse or two.Plus I'm still trying to cope with some very bad news concerning my best friend. Appreciate your visit......stan
author commentlovedly
Sun, 2015-02-01 16:00
WHICH BEST FREND Stan
Which best friend Stan 'Bad ???
scribbler
Sun, 2015-02-01 23:21
His name is Randal
We have been friends since my early 20s. Totally different back grounds but that's the way it happens sometimes.
author commentSparrow
Fri, 2015-01-30 19:25
Stan
This one came up on my today list and I notice that it is from 2011.
I will let it stay as it is a story that needs to be told again for the young ones that have a freedom today.
Battle of Antietam
Casualties: Approximately 5,000
Bloody Lane Summary:
The sunken road that was later to be named "Bloody Lane" was site to some of the fiercest fighting in the Battle of Antietam.
For nearly 4 hours, Union and Confederate forces fought in this sunken clay road.
At the end, it was said that blood flowed like a river inside it, giving it the name "Bloody Lane." - See more at: http://www.historynet.com/bloody-lane#sthash.Vq8Dr9T1.dpuf
Stan thanks for your excellent write on this battle and the area.
That their God looked the other way as Brother fought Brother was not good, I find that sometimes the reason is not clear and many are undecided and just follow.
Thanks again,
Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
scribbler
Sat, 2015-01-31 20:19
Hi Ian
It took until the second world war for America tp lose more soldiers in one day than happened in this battle..............stan
author commentSparrow
Sun, 2015-02-01 03:58
Stan
I find that poems written that teach others of places and things they have never seen or heard of are good to read, I try to write a variety of pieces from North American Mythology or folklore to my our own history and the great artists of the world and many other things, as you know you can only walk half way into the woods no matter how big they are..
Take care young traveller,
Yours as always Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
scribbler
Sun, 2015-02-01 23:24
Hi Ian
The land over which so many died in battle for what they thought right must never be forgotten. So over time I hope to do my little part to keep these sacrifices remembered......stan
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