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Savage

Would you notice if I disappeared?
To you I’m an infinitesimal dot
On the page, but hidden from sight

 

Did you ever really see me there?
Did your brain ever really compute
And work out if I had a name

I know I exist that’s the twist

I’m still here
Yet pain slashes and plunges deep

Burning

The wound engulfs my brain
You don’t need me

You don’t want me

That’s clear and plain
 

Would you notice if I disappeared?
To you I’m an infinitesimal dot
On the page, but hidden from sight

I look into your face
Your eyes are blank
I’m not in there

Amongst your disdain

You’re blind to my needs and feelings
I burn as you torch my senses
You aim and shoot me down in flames…

 

…as I look into your savage face

But you don’t need me

You don’t want me.

© 2011 McWhorter Productions

 

Last few words: 
This one was contributed to by Dan (Hooded Stranger)
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thank you , but the idea was not to formal the poem conventionally, but I appreciate your help.

I'm glad that you liked it.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I like the irregularity of the layout. It makes it feel painful and a little disjointed. Great theme.

Amongst your disdain

You’re blind to my needs and feelings
I burn as you torch my senses
You aim and shoot me down in flames…

Love, Cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

i'm so pleased you liked it.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment
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