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REAPER
The reaper is not always grim
nor does he carry a razor scythe
may not even be a him
can well be a mother, wife
A young Florida mother will suffice
a retired football hero
a vagrant with a rusty knife
a surgeon with a clinic
Or
a smiling
blond haired
Norwegian
with a plan
and a gun
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2011-07-25 03:03
Hey Scrib
I thought this was a very good read. i like everything about its style and flow including the title and language.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-25 07:13
Hi Barb
I am glad you liked it and did not think it exploitative............stan
author commentscribbler
Mon, 2011-07-25 07:16
hi Ian
This is an example that there is such thing as evil in the world. I expect there will be entirely too much time spent trying to make "sense" of this animal who should have been killed on site..............stan
author commentpleiades
Mon, 2011-07-25 05:05
this may seem an odd thing to
this may seem an odd thing to say, given
the subject of this write,
but mr s...your last stanza kicks arse
relatively short...succinct...and hits home
your second stanza gives real pause for thought...
i actually find it a brave stanza...it's a truth
your last stanza is chilling...and it
brought me up short
a well written piece on a current event
not the least exploitive, nor deliberately
emotion-laden (so as to wring a response from the reader)
well done
cheers
p
scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-25 07:22
hello
I grow so weary of seeing killers turned into celebrities. And did you know the harshest sentence it faces is 22 yrs. in prison ? I am pleased you found time to read and comment on this quickie foray into free verse........stan
author commentthemoonman
Mon, 2011-07-25 06:15
I agree Pleiades ...
that last stanza ... wow
thanks Stan!
scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-25 07:23
hi Richard
I am amazed as always when a feeble free verse of mine is well received. Thank you............stan
author commentvexations10
Mon, 2011-07-25 16:20
Wish I had said it first
the last verse kicks ass. I wonder if you need as much prelude as you give. Just a thought.
vexations
scribbler
Mon, 2011-07-25 17:10
hi vex
I kind of used the change from a structured rhyme to a structured free verse and to a short lined free verse to emphasize the last stanza. I also wanted this to show that Norwegian is just another in a long line of monsters who will escape death after murdering others. I always Do give your ideas consideration and thanks for dropping one off......stan
author comment