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Poet
The wind seems far away
when the observer declares
independence, all things
pass within circles and hands
of clay....
If you will, demonstrate your ignorance
oh, small child of remarkability: you held
an elephant's trunk once and dreamed it
your own, you swallowed a dozen flies and
ate paste to build prisoner's walls.
There is nothing to stand between your head
but yourself. Counter the terror of the madness
you name.
In her shadeless declaration, only moonlight absolves.
There are no doors in a spiraled universe, there is nothing
inside but untamed wilderness and fistfuls of morning glories,
oh so purple, so righteous and so delicate with poems.
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Sat, 2011-08-27 23:32
You have written several poems lately
referring to poetry or poets.
I don't like it.
Post-modernism is all well and good but self-referentiality limits your readership.
That's just my opinion.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Kailashana2
Mon, 2011-09-26 12:05
Yeah, so? If I write 365
Yeah, so? If I write 365 poems in a year, and even 25 deal with poets and poetry, does that make an *I don't like it*?
(I just used my *premium preview* for the first time.)
~A
author commentweirdelf
Tue, 2011-09-27 12:47
only for me [wry smile]
when you say you used premium preview for the first time do you mean you don't usually check "New updates"? Do you go straight to "track all site activity"?
Do you read your Private Messages?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
magics02
Mon, 2011-09-26 12:47
Anna
I came to read and then I decided to twinkle in your garden this morning. Let me know if any of my ideas, suggestions or rather thans work here. You know I am just trying and reading this for the first time and I was tad bit confused on the her or the your parts. Oh yeah and the paste made me think of the paper mache we used to make back in the days. Tell me what you think and one thing I do appreciate and like about you Anna is this. You tell it like it is, whether you like it or not I love the honesty most of all.
The wind seems far away
when the observer declares
independence
all things
pass within circles
and hands
of clay..
If you will, demonstrate your ignorance
oh, small child of remarkability
you held an elephants’ trunk once
and dreamed it your own
you swallowed a dozen flies
and ate paste to build prisoner's walls.
There is nothing to stand between your head
but yourself.
Counter the terror of the madness
you name.
In her shadeless declaration only moonlight absolves. ( Is it HER or Your?)
There are no doors in a spiraled universe
there is nothing inside but untamed wilderness (nothing is inside)
and fistfuls of morning glories,
oh so purple and so righteous
And so delicate with poems. ( so delicate the poems?)
One last thing. I know there is a lot of ands in this and perhaps you prefer. I will come back to see what you think on my bit of read here. I like this part also, and is true there is nothing to stand between the head but oneself which can sometimes surely get in the way:) Got it!
There is nothing to stand between your head
but yourself. Counter the terror of the madness
you name.
Really good Anna. I catch the words in meanings you write and it brings to me much thought and reflection. That is a good thing without buttery you up to the sky eh? Smile gal:)
Che Bella
Mona
xox