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Passion- posted on behalf of China Blue- Splash Pool Workshop

Passion is the tides
Surge, ebb and flow
The roar of an approaching storm
Fires of hell burning
Bright

A lion’s hunger
When on the prowl
To the ocean’s depth
It is felt

Lust never fulfilled

Love is a comfort zone
An unconditional giving
Where no boundary lines are drawn
A knowing without a whisper
A reading of the signs

Love always fulfilled

Passion without love
Is empty
Love lacking passion
Leaves a void

Why can they not co exist
In one

Editing stage: 

Comments

I don't think you are looking for stronger words, just a more definitive way of arranging the thoughts. I thought you did fine, until you got to the "fires of hell, burning bright." I'm not sure that those words or the concept has a place in this one. Maybe use: The flames of desire, burning heat? I don't want to give away all of the ideas that I have for re-writing this one, so I will just leave you with that. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Here's a quickie rewrite. Hope it doesn't miss your point too badly

My passion is a restless tide
surging, ebbing, ever flowing
the rumble of approaching storm
the heat of hellfire, bright and glowing

A lion's hunger
on the prowl
the ocean's depth
the coyote's howl

A lust I hope to never fill

My love is a comfort zone
of unconditional love
a quiet yet unbounded moan
a quiet knowing without sign

And always fulfilling

Either one without the other
feels so sterile, incomplete
why can't they exist as one
within a single soul, replete?

now let's hear some more variations............stan

Guess I just put 1 toe in mouth not entire foot lol. You can submit your rewrite any time you are ready..........stan

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