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Observation - entry three the paralytic diaries

Booze Hound entry three 

Noticed Lou watching me
Typing upon her iPad 
Furiously recording
my mishaps and my triumphs  

God that bitch is scary 
Tried to lose her
Running down side streets
Dodging into pubs

Breathless and about to pass out 
drenched in alcohol laced sweat
Hiding in doorways 
But she still observes

I fall over and play dead
On a pillow made of my own vomit,
she still pursues, and posts my news
Booze Hound and his daily abuse.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Im not Booze Hound, nor is he one of many personalities I'm channeling, lol!!
He is purely fictitious , and was created for the purpose of writing a series of poems

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Though I wish I had one. To record just as you expressed, and not "I had a cup of coffee".

This is what it is all about. An excellent poem.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Thank you

Loi

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

thank you , ill make the changes you mentioned.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Rosi and Lou, sounds like a kids show my nephews used to watch. I think it was called Rosie and Jim. LMAO !!!

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

It was about 2 rag dolls on a narrow boat, god it was boring , but I had to watch it as I was looking after my nephews, who loved it.

I preferred it when they started watching He-Man, Thundercats and Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. LOL!!!

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

pursuit

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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