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LINUS' PATCH
Along a road I often follow
just about one month ago
a field was plowed which once was fallow
and seed beds were planted in a row.
Now, I thought it kind of queer
for planting season was far past
to see seed set this time of year
what type crop could grow so fast?
A few weeks passed with scattered rain
then green poked out of every mound
which got me wondering again
what was sprouting from this ground?
Well, I passed again today
green runners stretching everywhere
and large gold blossoms now hold sway
betraying which crop's growing there
Come the night of Halloween
with a nip of frost in the clear air
pumpkins' orange will be seen
and maybe Linus waiting there
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-08-23 11:04
Dear Stan,
Great title and subject matter! I love it!
Come the night of Halloween
with a nip of frost in the clear air
pumpkins' orange will be seen
and maybe Linus waiting there
always, Cat
*
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And responds, please be courteous
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scribbler
Tue, 2011-08-23 12:40
hi Cat
Saw a pumpkin patch growing nearby and couldn't help thinking of Linus and the great pumpkin lol..........stan
author commentscribbler
Tue, 2011-08-23 12:44
hi Rose
I spent the first 12 years of my life in cities . I guess that's why I appreciate the countryside so much. Ploughed and plowed are both accepted spelling but plowed is used over here mostly. Reckon I'll change seedbed though. thanks.PS my spell check just displayed ploughed as a misspell lol................stan
author commentmagics02
Wed, 2011-08-24 00:14
Stan
Linus!! I have to come back here with my ideas. It is too late now but to help you out in this one. It is good but I am being honest..Linus's patchings need a bit of work.
Nite notes for now from Ms Mona
Smile
ps I thought you were on a respite??
Wink:)
scribbler
Wed, 2011-08-24 22:30
Hi mona
I'm all the time making changes so feel free to give your ideas.........stan PS I never intended to be gone for long
author commentloved
Wed, 2011-08-24 22:50
so Global Warming
is not all that bad
pumpkins spread
and the politicians faces
ought to be red.
loved
scribbler
Sat, 2011-08-27 09:53
hi loved
I don't know, this global warming is pretty rough on this old builder/carpenter lol. Thanks for the visit.....scribbler
author commentweirdelf
Sat, 2011-08-27 23:53
A cartoon reference?
Maybe most will get Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin.
You said your self that perhaps the clue to appreciation of the depths of your poetry lies in a reference to its subtext.
Then again, maybe this is just a fun poem, although its sinister ovetones could be enhanced.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Sun, 2011-08-28 00:24
yes cartoon ref
This particular poem has no intended secondary meaning so forgive me for asking what sinister overtone you refer to. Poem was a direct result of an observed pumpkin patch...and what pumpkin patch with Any sincerity would be complete without Linus? lol............stan
author commentweirdelf
Sun, 2011-08-28 00:44
Sinister?
Blame my warped mind.
But then again, what little boy hides in a pumpik patch, alone, with a delusion?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Sun, 2011-08-28 00:52
lol
better with a delusion than a .....oops! almost said Catholic priest lmao *ALL REFERENCES TO CATHOLIC PRIEST CHILD MOLESTERS ARE LIMITED ONLY TO THOSE ALREADY FOUND GUILTY AND DO NOT IMPLY THAT WRITER THINKS ALL PRIESTS ARE PERVERTS
author commentweirdelf
Sun, 2011-08-28 01:24
no need for references to priests.
We share a belief that spirituality is a personal thing, no churches, priests or ritual involved.
You will never find a priest in a pumpkin patch unless he is stealing one!
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry