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I love you
After all these years
the long road ahead
is shorter than the
vision I leave behind
I'm driving slower these days
walking to places
I have yet to go
with unwritten poems
the sky above me shaking
the ground below me
like dust
I gather myself
once more
to see the sunrise I can never
write into a poem
to feel the warmth of your love
I can never put into words.
c
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-11-23 10:34
Dear Anna,
Reading this poem is like taking a short journey with you to places I can not get to on my own. Your title is simple, yet I feel there could be a better one to fit. I loved the imagery throughout.
I gather myself
once more
to see the sunrise I can never
write into a poem
to feel the warmth of your love
I can never put into words.
always, Cat
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raj
Wed, 2011-11-23 14:28
Anna
these four end lines are by themselves poetry about love...lovely..
to see the sunrise I can never
write into a poem
to feel the warmth of your love
I can never put into words.
raj (sublime_ocean)
wesley snow
Wed, 2011-11-23 21:39
As always...
... your language is beautiful and I find myself wishing you wrote lyric poetry.
But... after all that talk about punctuation (wait! come back!) I wish you had some in the third stanza. I am uncertain if "like dust" is the end of a sentence or the beginning (of course with my luck you deliberately placed it so that it would serve as both).
Otherwise, the poem has a very lonely feel to it that made me a little sad.
wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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