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HAIKU (August hints of autumn)
The first hints of fall
a few golden poplar leaves
scattered through the woods
Fading spots on fawns
born early in the past spring
seen in mid August
Nesting birds grow scarce
as well as the fledglings' chirps
when young take to wing
At last morning air
carries a slight hint of cool
instead of moist heat
Trucks parked on roadsides
abandoned by owners
now scouting deep woods
Green winged teal arrive
first migrants through southern states
but hardly the last
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
seems when I start Haiku I don't know when to stop lol
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Tue, 2011-08-16 03:40
Stan
lovely string of Haikus creating lively images of Autumn neatly captured by you...
You may want to take a second look at this line which is 4 syllables instead of traditional five..
now scouting woods
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Tue, 2011-08-16 09:45
hi raj
You'd think with 10 fingers I could at least count to 5 lol.Thanks for the read and spot............stan
author commentraj
Tue, 2011-08-16 14:42
Stan
i love your humor..lol...the reason for pointing out a very minor aberration was to make your lovely string of haikus more perfect...i note you have now done a good edit of the line..
raj (sublime_ocean)