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Drowsing to Fire

Drowsing to Fire

limbs tangled
in sheets
of cool satin;
head on pillow.
awaken with
morning light
streaming on
soft cushion,
sliding over
before reticence
can overtake.
fingering silky hair,
tracing all features
of beloved face,
kissing pouty lips.
talented hands
slip 'round my neck,
slowly your flush
does rise to
set off fine features
as your eyes lose focus,
taking on familiar
far away expression.
disengaging
your firm, ripe mouth
descending to
your other charms
found expectantly
a w a i t i n g
the touch of fire.
combustion has begun
to slowly flare.
it is not long
before the raging blaze
consumes us as,
once again, we burn...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hot stuff Mrs!!!!

Do ladies have cold showers ? LOL!!!!

All joking aside, i think the short lines work well, and the poem builds to a fitting climax!!

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

nothing like erotica
passion and danger
Fire indeed!!
I feel this blaze!!

oh yeah
oh YEAH!

excellent poem, I'm with Steve, I love erotica.

One thing.

the word "pouty" does not fit. It seems abit childish to me, considering the rest of the work.

Ah, I think I'll bookmark this!

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

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