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THE BITER BLENDED SWEET
THE BITER BLENDED SWEET
The biter is her shell
The poison.
The anger
Mixed by secrets
Sometime she will tell
Her life
The hurt
The pain
So many questions
Of love
Unexplained
This was the bitter
In her life
This scar
Will not heal
To the day she dies
Never a life
Of trust
She always hides
Protected
Defending
The sweetness in her mind
If bitter can be blended sweet
It lays within her
Soul in a time
That little girl would weep
For the bitter
Still lives in this time
The little girl
Asking when
Complete love
Will be mines
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Bonitaj
Wed, 2011-07-13 05:44
PRESS
Almost want to say 'good press' (as the expression goes ;) I like this one a lot. Corrections are to be noted as Ian has explained, but from a content point of view, I see it as a cathartic write, clear, astonishingly insightful and no doubt - painfully right!
Good luck
Boni
Bonitaj