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Apocalypse One.

Born on a dead and lonely planet
She opens her eyes to witness a stark new day.
All she has is her mother's grave.
Aftermath of apocalypse 
will her world re-populate?

Walks the earth imagination working
where did the human race go?
Will they return, or is she destined 
go mad on this godforsaken world?

Echoes From a human voice reverberate.
But it is only a recording,
a masculine tone she can not fathom.
The words he speaks, afford some solace.

Love grows, fantasy keeps her sane.
A true romance
With in her starved brain.
He must be her savior.
or she will live her life alone.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Thinking of making this a series.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thank you

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Lou,

as you know as I have already said about this piece elsewhere...this is my favourite Lou poem of all time. And I still can't put my finger on...why?

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

I can't tell you why you like it, but i'm glad that you do.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I think most everyone knows that I prefer the even rhythm/rhyme stuff, but this caught my attention. Perhaps it's the story or maybe the spooky language. Anyway, I was able to "see" the poem as I read and I think that's the crux of it all.
Since Xena gave you a little suggestion, perhaps I may? I think "witnesses" needs to be singular.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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I think most everyone knows that I prefer the even rhythm/rhyme stuff, but this caught my attention. Perhaps it's the story or maybe the spooky language. Anyway, I was able to "see" the poem as I read and I think that's the crux of it all.
Since Xena gave you a little suggestion, perhaps I may? I think "witnesses" needs to be singular.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Im open to suggestions, that is part of my reason for being here. I'm glad that you liked my poem.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

You know what i'm like for typos lol

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

This is truly forlorn and gruesome! Have you seen that old movie; "a dog and his boy"? If not I highly recommend it!

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

No I haven't seen that film, i'll have a look for it.

Thanks

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

thank you

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment
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