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Buzz
Bass pounds through my chest
a drug free buzz,
I become more like myself
with every depression of the keys,
crazy darkness.
The rhythm radiates assaulting my senses
waves of sound crashing,
lyrics on the attack , vocal warriors
a transfusion of overwhelming power,
releasing me.
Crave that hormone rush,
long for the blood coursing through the veins.
pumping in the ears,
volume way up,
vibrating the rafters.
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Author information
Region & Country
West London
Favorite Poets
Pablo Neruda, Jack Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, D.H Lawrence, Jim Morrison's lyrics
Comments
Candlewitch
Thu, 2011-07-07 10:54
Dear Lou,
Something different for you and it expresses your love of music nicely!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
lou
Thu, 2011-07-07 11:40
Cat
Thank you.
I hope your arm is ok.
Love Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentlou
Fri, 2011-07-08 02:42
Lonnie
Are you saying I'm an ageing fan ? LOL !!
As a fan of ACDC I know that the volume has to be right up lmao.
Thanks Lonnie
Love Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentweirdelf
Fri, 2011-07-08 04:05
Was this perhaps influenced by my challenge
to write of the positive?
It certainly contains power and passion that I can relate to.
Very much related.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
lou
Fri, 2011-07-08 05:10
Jess
Actually it was written a couple of months ago and ive just re-written it a bit.
Glad you liked it.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentlou
Mon, 2011-07-11 10:35
Jc
Thank you,
Love Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentKailashana2
Mon, 2011-07-11 11:24
I know you said not to
I know you said not to respond to your poems but can't help myself here... this is your best to date imo. but (again imo) a couple of tweaks here and there.
Bass pounds through my chest
a drug free buzz,
[drug-free, I buzz]
I become more like myself
with every depression of the keys,
crazy darkness.
[absolutely brilliantly vocalized!]
The rhythm radiates assaulting my senses
waves of sound crashing,
[i would leave these two lines on their own 2 lines]
lyrics on the attack, vocal warriors
a transfusion of overwhelming power,
releasing me.
[release me] (doesn't need the ing}
Crave that hormone rush,
long for the blood coursing through the veins.
[Craving that hormone rush,
longing for the blood coursing through my veins
pumping in the ears,] (this is when the full effect of the participle works)
[over the top] (perhaps a line to add)
volume way up,
vibrating the rafters.
last two lines are delicious!
~A
lou
Mon, 2011-07-11 12:21
Anna
Since you couldn't control yourself LOL !!
Thank you glad that you liked it
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2011-07-13 11:38
Dear Lou,
I had to come read this again:
The rhythm radiates assaulting my senses
waves of sound crashing,
lyrics on the attack , vocal warriors
a transfusion of overwhelming power,
releasing me.
music is a whole new world to fall into and be swept away by.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
lou
Wed, 2011-07-13 11:51
Cat
Thanks for visiting again, next to writing music is the greatest thing to lose yourself in.
Love Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
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