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Come mother Come

Come mother come
Lets play so
Ah! Now life is not a merry play though

Every morsel of mine
Would bring in games undefined
& nights use to sing
The songs of loins & kings

Any silly action of mine
Was divine
& my needs
Were fulfilled like deeds

If I would cry
Your world would cease
& moist eyes always said
Honey you are the best

I now know
Why my doll dressed like you
Yes I know
Why I thought you as a foe

Please mother, oh dear mother
Make me that small girl again
Freely who would cry in your arms
& you would hold me until I sleep

Come mother come
Lets play so

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
mother is best friend of her girl... but why girls understand that so late... a tribute to my mother... to every mother... i love u mother..
Editing stage: 


good to see you back and posting poems...your write does convey your craving to be a young one again and to be held in the comforting arms of your mother...i know this is a sensitive subject about mother and daughter relationship...a good come back attempt but surely you would like to work on the meter if not rhyme to give it more cadence which will surely lift your poem up and bring out its essence even more....

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

hey raj.
thanks for being so sweet.

author comment

if u could try and avoid abbreviating

poetry as it is is short and sweet
good yearnings
happy treat


will surely do the.. thx.. oopppssss .. Thanks..

author comment

This is indeed a very touching piece - so typical of you - a very sensitive and caring person. Always a pleasure reading you.


Leonard Daranjo

"When the waiting stops, the living begins"

hey Leonard

Thx for the comment but who is Jayne...????


author comment
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