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on the subject of roses
does it hurt to be
a thorn
on the rose?
I do not know such
things,
sometimes the
sting of words
rains tears in my eyes
and my lips start to bleed...
sun drenched veins on the leaf
surge through apple-buttered skies
words fall to the wayside,
roads we have yet to travel
to roses we have yet to touch.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
This poem started out as a dance with Mona's poem.. Thank you again.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Kailashana2
Thu, 2011-06-30 08:56
Hi JC~
Hi JC~
These days punctuations are mostly absent in my poems, i try to make the words punctuate the poem. ;-0
~A
author commentBarbara Writes
Thu, 2011-06-30 23:50
Great Anna
I see no room for improvement to suggest. I love the way it reads
"I love that picture of you, like a true Southern Belle or Northern Lady" i appreciate this statement you made about my picture, thanks I just notice it.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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