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THE APPOINTMENT
They haven't spotted me yet
out in the far ort cloud
but I am coming for a visit
unwelcome
Just another frozen chunk
of left overs
large and mixed with rocks
knocked out of my familiar path
by a reckless fellow traveler
Now sunward I accelerate
pulled by gravity and destiny
toward my own death
as the ethereal within warms
and leaves me
Any day now I'll be betrayed
by a smudge of growing tail
by amateur or astronomer
matters not
to me
or them
For my death won't be dissolution
rather, abrupt and violent
by fiery collision
with that blue and white distant marble
in the year
2012
about forgot my weakly free verse lol
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Wed, 2011-04-13 22:04
hi Chrys
oort was a misspell of ort. Ort cloud is the area at outer edge of solar system populated by comets. And thanks for catching the repeat of me. I guess a different type write shocked my senses lol. Appreciate the visit and eagle eye. by the way how are you recovering from accident?...................stan
scribbler
Thu, 2011-04-14 07:15
hi Shirley
Just thought folks might have tired of "here goes stan and Another nature poem" lol. Glad you liked it...........stan
Geezer
Thu, 2011-04-14 10:51
Very different...
write for you as Shirley says. I liked the theme, because I have been hearing a lot about the alignment of the solar system with the center of the galaxy and all that. It seemed smooth, and made me want to read it a couple of times more. Nice deviation from your norm. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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scribbler
Thu, 2011-04-14 14:53
hi geeze
I thought everyone was going to say the subject was worn out. Always good to see you come visiting..........stan