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Politicide (eddy styx)
Politicide
Composition by design
the compost heap
of Charon's Keep
heaping guano on the stack.
A marriage joined,
by fecal matter.
Entwined decrepitude
of nature's refuse.
Composites...
combines
Praetorian wing
with
echelon fine...
ever sinking
in the stinking
black hole.
Gaping
open mouth
belching
verbiage spewing...
oh the flowing out
of each and every
bureaucrat (Divine!)
(*Politicide is a combining of the words political and suicide)
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
another poem from the "Book of Styx II" Still editing the body of work before submitting for publication. I appreciate all the help I can get. Thank you in advance.
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
Northwestern Wisconsin USA
Favorite Poets
Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2011-03-07 10:47
Sounds like...
Eddy has been listening to those politicians spout off about how they will change things, and then just wind up going along with the crowd. I love the language, it sounds almost Roman or Greek and reminds me of the oratories they had. The pace was definately in keeping with the patter that one might expect of a snake-oil seller,[which I feel most politicians are]. I liked the theme, as you might guess, and thought the whole thing flowed well. ~ Love ya, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-03-08 10:48
Dear Sir Gee,
Yup! The politicians are starting to make noise again, but not as much of a racket as the will in the coming year. I dread the results of the coming election even more.I'm afraid it is going to get to be a whole lot worse before it gets better. Thanks for reading!
love eddy, (& Cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentCandlewitch
Tue, 2011-03-08 10:47
Thanks, Bee!
I needed that!
always, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentlou
Mon, 2011-03-07 11:34
Cat
An interesting combination of words, I like the way the words have been woven together, but I wondered, whether it would be better if on line 4 you said ' heaping mulch on the stack' ? That would mean that you could avoid repeating compost.
Even without that minor tweak, I love it.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-03-08 10:51
Dear Lou,
Thanks for bringing that blip to my attention! I fixed the repeat, but used "guano" as it had the same syllables as compost. I hope you like the change.
love, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentlou
Wed, 2011-03-09 11:10
Cat
Guano, is a perfect replacement word, for compost.
love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Bonitaj
Mon, 2011-03-07 13:43
CAT!
I love it when you get mean!!! I think these descriptions could be levied at so many individuals - not merely politicians - although they are a rather heinous bunch!
Well done!
Boni
Bonitaj
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-03-08 10:39
Dear Boni,
It is so very good to see you again! When did you get here? I suppose you have been keeping very busy this winter. Thanks for reading and for the comment and observations.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2011-03-09 10:14
Dear Rosi,
Thanks, yeah there is no shortage of gas in the air with those windbags out and about.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentAyaz Warith
Wed, 2011-03-09 07:24
Dear Cat, this is a very
Dear Cat, this is a very modern write to me, though some words said very little that I had to fight with them...LOL.
Regards
Ayaz
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-03-09 10:17
Hello Ayaz,
It's nice to meet you! Sorry about the hard to read words, but I guess that goes along with politicians, too! Thanks for reading.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentCandlewitch
Fri, 2011-03-11 10:09
Dear Shirl,
Yes, eddy has a strong view on politics and politicians! Thanks for your continued support of him.
Love, cat (&eddy)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentRace_9togo
Thu, 2011-03-10 18:02
Cat
I love this.
Have you, um, given a thought to introducing Eddy to, like, um, you know, the Governor of Wisconsin?
Just an idyl (idyllic) thought.
Let me know if you do; I'll bring my camcorder, we can get the whole thing on video!
heehee
Good Stuff.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-03-11 10:15
Dear Jim,
LOL! Maybe I'll just send him an autographed copy of "the Book of Styx II" when it comes out. If I sent him the original "Book of Styx" it would probably creep him out too much to read my second book. Thanks for the offer of getting it on video :)
always, eddy (& cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
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