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Toxic

Foul stench of self importance,
The air so thick , It coats the back of the throat
choking you on the rancid hatred and derision.

Gasping, fighting for breath amongst the putrid smell ,
of ego, ambition,
and dead hope.

Festering skank riding an odorous wave
of arrogant dross,
bilious heap of filth.

Open the sluices and flush
It all out.
Expunge the stain.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

I probably shouldn't, but I laughed out loud when I read " Festering skank riding an odorous wave of egotistical dross, bilious heap of filth."

There have been times ( in the past ) when I have spewed out words like this.

Great poem

Love Mand xxxxxx

I posted it twice somehow!

Mand did you like it so much you had to repeat yourself lol

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I've just read out to my husband, He liked it to.

He he

Love Mand xxxxx

thanks

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

thanks

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Lou,

as you know I was privy to this before posting, but still wanted to drop by and read again.

I know the details behind this one and feel you have captured the moment with some fine descriptions.

I had to look up 'Expunge'...a great word indeed...I must use that sometime.

It reads really well, but I can't recall if i suggested any changes or if i did, if you've used them...but whatever, I do like the feel of this one.

I like the title too and I like the fact you never use the word 'toxic' in the actual poem.

The only thing I would mention is you've used the word 'ego' and 'egotistic'...so I wonder if you should replace one of them with an alternative word to prevent the slight repetition? maybe, 'conceit' in place of ego in this stanza:

Gasping, fighting for breath amongst the putrid smell ,
of ego, ambition,
and dead hope.

kind regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Thanks mate.

Glad you like the word expunge, i love finding expressive words.

ill sort out the reptition.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

You'll have to share (privately)with me your bible of mellifluous words, Lou.

;-)

~A

Anna,

having looked up 'expunge', I now need to look up 'mellifluous'...I can't keep up with all these words!

LOL!

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Girl Power !!!!!

Men just don't have the vocabulary LOL !!!!

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment
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