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WITHOUT SAYING (tiny edit)

He never said he loved her
it just wasn't his way
but to her he would defer
and in his mind she'd stay

He never said he loved her
from the day that they first met
he had eyes for no other
I guess he doesn't even yet

He never said he loved her
but built their home by hand
driving one nail after another
on a little piece of land

He never said he loved her
as they raised a family
a sister and a little brother
good hearted as could be

He never said he loved her
as he left each day for work
even on days cold that made him shudder
he never gave a thought to shirk

He never said he loved her
but his love always was true
no other woman under cover
'till the day his life was through

He never said he loved her
he lived the words instead
his actions spoke much louder
than anything he could have said

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like your suggestion,but will await others before I implement it. Showing Love for dummies by a dummy lmao..............stan

author comment

You make me feel its like something I have read about in descriptions of Norwegian country traits, where the wife never says:"I love you" but instead, every time he comes in from the fields, she says-meaning the same- "I've put the kettle on for coffee."
And so with that she's said it!

I was careful not to tread on their toes, when offered coffee myself, even if I didn't like the boiled kind of coffee very much, and certainly not cakes, so sweet; but I felt I ought to accept, there being such a custom in Norway!

Taking hold of their hand was enough as to say you're my man! So one has to be careful in some countries or one would find wedding bells chiming before you had thought of why.

But this poem I like Stan, there was just one verse that rhythmically I stumbled on, this one:-

"He never said he loved her
as they raised a family
a sister and a little brother
good hearted as could be"

But the more I read it the better it gets perhaps I'm too fussy?

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

some are to quick to say I love you. Over the long haul actions display the truth. I'll revisit the stanza you mention...................stan

author comment

Actions speak louder than words! working in all wheathers, raising a family - your poem awoke renewed appreciation for my husband.

I loved the poem and the thoughts behind it.

Only one small thing ( to me ) I thought this line was a little long.

even on days cold that made him shudder
he never gave a thought to shirk

maybe:

even on days that made him shudder
he never tried to shirk.

only a thought.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

I agree that line is a bit long. I'll give it and your suggestion some thought and try to shorten it in a day or so. As always, it's good to see you..................stan

author comment
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