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Death Camp: Auschwitz

Driven from their ancestral homes,
the gestapo, with guns enforced,
they ruled over, into the night,
in their bodies, vitriol coursed.

Stripped of dignity and clothing,
their belongings sorted in piles.
Last, their ignorant claims of lies
and the most vehement denials.

Jewish population on the streets,
banished to death camps without hope.
shaven heads were mandatory;
disinfectant served as soap!

Many went to chambers spraying Gas,
later fed to huge fire pits,
which coughed up residue left over
from this horrid, German Blitz!

Ashes floating on the air currents,
drifting down like flakes of snow.
Landing on all things of a clear night,
the lights of Auschwitz aglow!

Wet streets fouled with human remains,
oven exhausts pumping ash,
as the Jews were herded like cattle,
treated much like human trash!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
*written on more styx notepad
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem is a stark and vivid depiction of the atrocities committed during the Holocaust. It uses strong, evocative imagery to paint a picture of the horrors that were experienced by the victims.

One aspect that could be improved is the rhythm and meter of the poem. While the poem does have a consistent rhyme scheme, the syllable count and stress patterns vary from line to line, which can disrupt the flow of the poem and make it harder to read.

Additionally, the poem could benefit from the use of more specific and concrete imagery. While the poem does use some powerful images, such as "oven exhausts pumping ash" and "Jews were herded like cattle", these could be further developed to create a more immersive and impactful reading experience.

Finally, the poem could also benefit from a more nuanced exploration of its subject matter. The Holocaust was a complex and multifaceted event, and while the poem does a good job of depicting the brutality and inhumanity of it, it could also delve deeper into the individual experiences and emotions of the victims. This could help to humanize them and make the poem more emotionally resonant.

In conclusion, while this poem is a powerful depiction of a horrific event, it could be improved by refining its rhythm and meter, developing its imagery, and exploring its subject matter in a more nuanced and emotionally resonant way.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

The poem depicts unspeakable horrors that the Nazi regime inflicted upon over 6,000,000 people: men, women, and children. Now, eighty years later, we hear about people who believe it was a hoax and never happened. We hear about people claiming it was an accident. We hear about people who believe it didn't go far enough. And all these people are United States of America citizens. These are the same kind of people that lead Germany down the path that ended in Chelmno, Belzec, Sobibor, Treblinka, Majdanek, and Auchwitz-Birkenau. Let us pray that history doesn't repeat itself here.

Thanx,
Steve

It is mind boggling to think that the rest of the world were so slow to take action! Think of the many that could have been saved if only we were quicker to organize... I can see it happening again, i we are not careful!

your, Cat

p.s.
I promise, I will not disappear into a blue funk lasting days.

*
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author comment

Hello, Cat,
A hard read - the most difficult part being that it is all horrifically true. You have put the reader in the reality of it all, using all the senses to describe the raw and painful truth. I used to wonder how such an atrocious time period ever came to be - it must have felt like the end of the world, as it was. Unfortunately, it has become easier to imagine it now. We are at a surreal time period now, and like Steven, I pray history does not repeat itself.
Thank you,
Lx

I hate it, that I can imagine it happening again... this time period is unbalanced, as you say "surreal" and it scares the crap out of me! Thanks for reading and commenting on my poems. you are appreciated

*hugs, Cat and eddy styx

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

that your first stanza needs to be clarified.

Driven from their ancestral homes,
the gestapo, with guns enforced,
they ruled over, into the night,
in their bodies, vitriol coursed.

Stripped of dignity and clothing,
their belongings sorted in piles.
Last, their ignorant claims of lies - [last], instead of later, to keep the meter.
and the most vehement denials.

Keep the meter as close as you can, with something this long.

You have been most consistent with an eight-beat meter, try to rearrange
the lines, add stuff or take it away to keep it.

By the way, I hear you about the utter horror of war and the genocide of whole groups and nationalities. It seems to me, that the aliens are avoiding us as long as they can, as we are probably the most warlike world they've ever seen.

~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thank you for your input and time, I agreed with the changes and made them. Maybe we (our planet) will destroy itself? Or be conquered by Aliens with better warfare capabilities? I do not think I will be around (in this form) to see the end, but I can see it coming.

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy styx

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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author comment

ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT'S ONE HELL OF A POEM YOU DID YOUR RESEARCH IT'S DETAILED AND THERE'S EMOTION INVOLVED GREAT JOB

Life is not tragedy although sometimes painful. Experience yields its bittersweet fruit!

I found a few good web sites and watched the film "Schindler's List" thanks for noticing my work in this! How are you doing?

*hugs, Cat & eddy styx

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Great poem,
A horrible reminder of what we as humans have done to one and another!

A reminder of what dictators can do to a country, how they control the masses! Pray we wont have this in the US!

for reading and commenting. We need to wise up and be aware that something similar could happen here. I am praying it does not!

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy styx

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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